Mr. Taxi

I'm gonna learn this dance soon...
Just wait ;)

It must put to an end.

It's late at night, yet I can't seem to fall asleep.
The feeling is really suffocating me, I can't seem to get over it.
Tears been falling, non-stop.
I couldn't stop it from rolling down my cheeks, it seemed like a spoiled tap.

I think, it's time.
Friday the 13th, a great start with a miserable end.
I think, it's time.
Time to say, goodbye.

To you, thank you for the memories that you've given me.
All the days when we whats-app together, the times when you cheered me up when I'm down.
Those days were really great, even though it seemed really far-fetched and unreal.
I've grown feelings for you, and I guess it's the time to let go.
It's really tough for me, because my feelings got deeper.
I have no idea if all your words to me are genuine pieces or not, I'll treat it as it is.
Please don't break the little trust I had in you, leave it as a beautiful memory.
At least, I feel that someone actually cares for me.
I felt that I'm being cared for, at once.

I've always been guessing if it was just a game that you wanted to play.
Thinking if it's a bet that you had with your friends.
I never asked as I hate knowing it all my doubts are proven to be true.
I wished that I'm being paranoid.
I hope that I am.

Days passed, and I guess everything has died down.
Your life should have been back onto track, while mine has been lost track a little.
I'm quite naive, because I'm really inexperienced in relationship.
Never had a boyfriend before, had never once tried being love by a guy.
Was never being cared for, was never being seen as a girl by any guy.
Your presence made me feel that I can be a normal girl as well.
But, it's coming to an end.

You will be back to who you are, and I will searching for myself.
I will be fine, like I've always said, though I've never been fine.
It's just another dream, I guess.
夢醒了，日子照樣過。
Life goes on...
Goodbye, thanks for everything.

Edited: 11.40am
But, I just can't seem to let go of it.
Shouldn't have fallen in the first place, but it's just a feeling that strikes.
Well...

SR DANCE TEAM!

It's quite a random one, but I really want to dedicate this post to my lovely SR Dance Team!
I love you guys a lot, really :)

How weird it is when I rant about not being able to bond with them and all on my blog...
But hey, we are closer now and we are some sort of a lovely family <3
True enough, I was the one not being able to open up, causing a lot of people to misunderstand me and so.
This is just me, so pardon me, I take a longer to open up...
Blame it on my past experiences >.<

But really, I love you guys!
I love this big family!
Our irritating, but fun and loving Dance Instructor Mr Dan,
Our never-fail-to-be-sarcastic teacher-in-charge Ms Tan and Ms Tan and Ms Tan,
Our caring new teacher-in-charge Mrs Tan,
and our lovely, fun, crazy, eccentric and whatsoever descriptive vocabulary that you can use to describe our family members :
SR DANCERS!

Man, how I wish to list down all the names, but the list is too long eh :x
Forgive me if I didn't list down all, I tend to get lazy at times like that, especially when I'm sick >.<
Yeah, sick again! ARGH! :(

Seriously, I took part in 6 SYF central judging ( 2 for Guzheng in Primary School, 3 for Choir in Primary and Secondary School and 1 for Dance in Junior College),
and I have to admit that this year's SYF is the most memorable one to me.
No pun intended, but really, it's really the most memorable one.
Maybe because of the pain, the blood, the sweat, and all moments that we had together...
We encourage each other when we feel damn frustrated with ourselves, we cared for each other when we're injured, and we helped each other when we missed some practices (Okay, it's all about me >.<)
however, it's these gestures that made us feel that we are not alone.
We are a team.
WE ARE A FAMILY! :D



I know that I'm not a good dancer, in terms of techniques, lines, movements, expressions and even the commitment in it, but I told myself that I will improve.
Indeed, I can say that I've practiced what I preached.
From a person who knows nuts about contemporary, could not even do splits, till now that I'm able to do some :)
But I'm still trying hard, to be much better than this, because I found my passion in it.

I think Arts is my life, since young :)
Started singing at the age of 3, learning the piano at age of 4 but stopped and continued at 16, playing the guzheng at the age of 7, I never know that I love to dance...
Learnt Chinese Ballet at the age of 10, and all sorts of genre of dance like Hip Hop and Jazz, but I still find no passion in it.
It's only when I entered SR Dance, met Mr Dan, this is then I realised that I love to dance.
I've said this before in our Heart-To-Heart-Talk session, but Imma say it once again...
It's Mr Dan who made me found passion in dancing :)
THANK YOU MR DAN!

Thank you dancers, Thank you Mr Dan, Thank you Ms Tans and Mrs Tan!
Thanks for making this happen and enabling us to clinch a Gold in this year's SYF!
I love you guys and hope that you guys love me too!
And sorry to make you guys read such a long and wordy post...
I don't camwhore as much as you guys do eh >.<
But still, I thank you guys to read up till the end (if you guys really do), LOVE YOU!

XOXO,
Benita!!!!!!! AHNEEMACHIMAEH~~~~~

Slow.

Some people read my tweets and I guess you guys would know, I fell.
Fell 3/4 times in 5 days, and I have no idea how in the world I fell.
I'm serious about it, because when I'm running or dancing, I'm not afraid that I will fall, or I would say I believed that I won't fall.
But I fell.

I'm not being paranoid about what I've assumed, and I guess I was right.
Will try to prove my point soon.

Anyway, my left foot is bandaged, again.
I guess, it's somehow a sign from God, that it's time for me to slow down.
My fast pace life has enabled me to forget to look back, unable to reflect upon my experiences.
Well, in Singapore, I doubt ANYONE has the chance to do so either.
Everything is too fast here, and to be honest, I'm unhappy here.
Shall talk about that in another post.

Time to go for school now, though it's raining.
Bye...

Peaceful :)

It's 4.03AM and I can't fall asleep...
Hmm, I have no idea why, but I guess it's the nap that I took in the afternoon that made me wide awake now.
Therefore, I'm here to blog a little... :)

What a peaceful night, no noise, no whatever shit that is harassing and disturbing this peaceful night.
I love it, because I can think with all my mind.
I love it, because I can enjoy what I'm doing now.
With no noise pollution, I'm enjoying what I love most, MUSIC :)


It's my best friend, my perfect companion when I'm alone, when I'm at lost, and when I'm feeling super down.
I thank for the creation of music, it makes me not feeling lonely.
THANK YOU! :D

Currently listening to DBSK/TVXQ/Tohoshinki's JOURNEY, featuring SNSD/SoNyeoShiDae/Girl's Generation's SeoHyun :)
It's a breeze to listen to such an upbeat song at such a timing, such peaceful environment.
I'm enjoying every single beat, every single note <3

Well, guess I've made my piece, goodnight people! <3

Happiness :)

“沒痛過又怎會知道快樂是多麽難能可貴？”
I can truly understand this feeling, as quoted from my friend, my life's like a roller coaster.
Full of ups and downs.
I'm so sorry towards non-Chinese people because I am not really a good translator.
I hope that people who read this and could not understand what those words mean are able to find people with good translating skills to help! :)

We, as humans, are always experiencing things our entire lives.
You will never always be fortunate, nor you will always be suffering.
'No Pain, No Gain' is something that I believed, always believe and still believing.
Going through competitions like Campus Superstar in 2009 made me stronger.
It made me learn that there will always be people better than me, and I've got to work harder.
Complacency will lead me to failure eventually.
It's painful, I know.
I was young, and still young, yet I have to experience things that others might not have experienced when they are my age.
However, I'm blessed.

I thank God for giving me all these challenges in life.
It made me a different person, whatever I do and whatever I say don't make me a 17.
People find me rather scary, but I guess I love the way I am.
Though I might not have a happy and cheerful childhood, but at least I know that because I fell hard before, I can stand up faster than anyone.
Cool, isn't it?! :D

There are times when I feel like giving up, asking myself why am I so bad at doing things that I like.
Why am I so unlucky and why are there things like bias and unfairness...etc
But seriously, this IS life, isn't it?
It boils down to the word, PASSION.
Do you have the passion in doing the things that you are doing now?
You give up isn't because of things that happened on you, you give up because your passion towards something isn't strong enough to anchor you to withstand unforeseen circumstances that might happen!
So, are you going to give up?
If yes, then don't tell anyone that you love doing something and you have passion in it.
Because you simply don't.

I started singing at the age of 3, I'm going 18 now.
I fell so hard during Campus Superstar 2009 and many other competitions, but do you see me giving up?
It's a good 15 years of love and passion towards singing and music.
I know that arts is in me, it's in my blood.
I live with it, and I WILL shine through it :)

So, for the people who fell, don't give up okay??
There are hell lot of chances and opportunities waiting for you in the future!
Don't EVER let these little stumbles in your life create an obstacle to hinder you!
This is life, but it doesn't mean that we have to give in to fate.
We have to work hard and strive on!
Let's work hard together, okay?? <3

:))

Finally, it's all done.
I can say that I'm undergoing something called 'mixed feeling'.
Shall elaborate more when I'm feeling better because my headache is really bad.
Really, really bad.
Goodbye, going to school now...