Fuck it.

I've never thought of leaving you.
I've never ever thought of running away from home.
I've never thought of neglecting you.
However, no matter how much I did, you wouldn't want to trust my friends.
They do no harm to me, why restrict me?
I'm feeling very miserable.

I just wanna see much of the outside world, because I'm too protected.
I don't even know the names of pubs and clubs.
I can't even name much of the alcohol.
What do I know?
Shopping, songs, clothes and some stupid stuff.
WHAT DO I KNOW?

Said that I have turned bad.
In what way?
In what fucking way do you think that I've turned bad?
I don't smoke, I don't fool around with people, I don't do what bad girls did.
I admit that I do drink, but does that mean that I've turned bad?
Just being late home, and you started yelling at me, and forbade me to not hang out with my friends.
My friends are not incorrigible people, don't fucking judge them.

You should know that no one can influence me, unless me myself decides to get influenced by people.
What's more, I'm still me.
I have friends who smoke, but do I freaking smoke?
I have friends who've done things that are way too crossing the border, but do I?
What I want is freedom, and you claimed that you gave me much.
Yeah right.
If restricting me in hanging out my friends is what you meant by giving me freedom, thanks.
I think, I am not worthy for your care anymore.

I just need your trust.
I will still love you.
But, if you don't trust me, how do you think that I can love you as much as in the past?
I'm not being rebellious, but like what I've said to you before.
If you are going to restrict me any further, I can't guarantee that I can still be that 'good girl'.

Bear this in mind, I love you.
You are my closest in this world, do you think that I would leave you.
I won't.
So do give me trust, will you?
This will be my wish for this Christmas, Santa, can you grant me this wish? :'(
I really want to spend more time with my friends.
I know that I'm blessed to be protected and someone nagging around me, but I do know how to protect myself.
Though there are many people out there whom I don't know and I can't read their minds, but if I'm scared, I can just leave that place straightaway.
I'm a clear minded person, I do know how to see.
Trust me, will you?