Is it really me, or is it you?

I do have quite a lot of 'untouchable' points about me.
Sounds so arrogant and apathetic, but this is just me.
I live by principles with some exceptions, but this 'untouchable' is definitely
UNTOUCHABLE!

Bet you guys are tired of hearing me nagging, complaining, whining or WHATEVER in blog, however, this is sorta my way of venting out.
I bet many bloggers are like that too, right?
Hmm, let's go back to the topic, my 'untouchable'.

I dislike being framed, maligned, being a scapegoat.
I believe NO ONE likes it, however, I guess this is human nature that at times, people tends to see others faults first.
Human, homo-sepian, we tend to lose our rationality when we get angry.
Please don't tell me you are a rational thinker, you are self-deceiving. :)
Wake up, my dear.

So, back to what I want to say, we, tend to push the blame to others when something went wrong.
Sad to say, I often get maligned for things that I did not even do.
I do feel that it's ridiculous and get angry, but what can I do?
Basically, there's nothing I can do, NOTHING.
Fight for my innocence might lead to more misunderstandings, thinking that I'm just trying to justify and to cover my faults.

People, we are human, we are not perfect and we can NEVER be perfect.
We can only strive and improve to be better, and that's the ONLY we can do.
We do have blind spots and we have to accept it.
A question to note, why do we tend to magnify a person's blind spot?
This is our blind spot, however I believe we can take this off from our list. :)

I shall end abruptly, it's your own way of how to remove it.
WORK HARD! I'm working hard too! :D
//: Anyway, this is a scheduled post, I'm still working hard for MYE! :D
Fight on, strive on, go on! WOOHOO! :D

Side note: When anyone pushes the blame to you, think this in your heart 'Is it really me, or is it you?'
Reflect upon your actions and think of what he/she did.
Talk it out, achieve a balance.
World Peace! :D
Okay, last line is kinda bull shit, but it's workable :D

Turn Back Time

People who know me should know that I'm a person who doesn't regret after doing something that easily.
I always know the fact that as I am the decision maker for myself, I can't do anything to change it when something goes wrong.
It's like, I know that I can't turn back the time, what I can do now is to go on with it, or totally discard it.
However, I don't usually discard as I think that it's an action of an irresponsible person.
Hmm, so, this is how I am like.

But now, since I'm given a dagger which can turn back time, why not trying to change one.
I've been holding it, thinking for a very long time, and I've been digging out all my buried memories, trying to find out what regrets me most.
It's not surprising to me though, but maybe for some of you, it's during Campus Superstar 2009 period.
Some of you might not know, it's a Chinese Singing Competition held by Mediacorp in Singapore and yes, I'm one of the finalists.
I don't really want to say it out, but I do regret.
Not regret joining the competition, the competition made me grow up, not in height of course, but the way I see things, however, I regretted not think deep before I say anything.
I used to give that tone that people always think I'm very proud or arrogant.
I seldom smile too, that made it worse.
I do have supporters, but it's as many as my haters.
They always comment me as an arrogant person, but they just don't know me.
I just don't smile, it doesn't mean anything.
But as you know, when you are on television, you are 'facing' the viewers.

Do you like this smile? I think I look good when smiling :)

I'm thinking, if I smile more, talk less, maybe I'll be more well-like by people.
If I have more personality but at the same time, I don't sound stuck up, I'll garner more attention and more love.
When I learn the art of speaking, it's already the end of the competition.
I don't blame this experience for making me grow, in fact, I'm thankful.
However, I just hate the fact that I've left bad impression to people whom they think that I'm pure arrogant and stuck up, I'm just inexperienced in dealing with crowds and I don't know how to talk.
Not that I'm dumb, I'm not taught how to talk in a nice way.
Now that I know how to, not really that good but at least better, I hope that I can turn back to that time, at least to change a little of that situation.
I might still get disqualified, but at least, I think I've done better in talking. :)
That's just what I think.

Hmm, but like as if I really have a dagger to turn back time just like the ancient dagger that is capable of releasing Sands of Time in 'PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME'!
Oh hell, I'm dreaming, but I really hope that this will happen! :D
All right, talking about the movie, Prince of Persia, let's have a little sneak peek! :D



Interesting? :D
I AM! :D:D:D
Anyway, it's directed by 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' 's director Mike Newell!
TOTALLY ANTICIPATING IT! :D

If interested, Catch Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Movie starting from 27^th May 2010 and join the official Facebook and Twitter page!
Please tell me how you feel after watching it on my formspring if you want, I'm interested to know! :D
I'm definitely going to watch as I've anticipated it for more than 2 months ever since I saw the trailer with my friend!
Sooooooo, do wait for my movie review yeah?
HAVE A NICE DAY, and for me, ENJOY STUDYING! (NOT! >.<)

Something to share.

Decided to write up this post, before going on a 2 weeks hiatus for my MYE.
It's been with me for a long time and I think I should really share.

Ever have friends who LOVE tying knots with people who you don't like?
Don't like as in, no mutual feeling, just friend-friend relationship.
I've seen lots and I sometimes do have things like that happening on me.
Sad to say, but I HATE this kind of things.
I find it ridiculous, VERY ridiculous.
I'm sorry to hurt you guys, but, this action is rather irritating.
I have feelings too, I'm crushing on a guy now and I think it'll be long.
I know you guys love to play or just for entertainment, or maybe, you guys wish me well, so they hope that I can have someone who can care for.
However, we can't force all these, right?
It's like marrying a guy who you don't know, only seen once before marrying, this kind of feeling is awkward and absurd.

Friends who really know me should know, I really hate this.
I do get angry at times because I'll get irritated.
Sometimes, I do laugh.
It's not because I am not disliking it, just that I don't wanna pick up a fight or start quarreling.
It's not worth it, you know, right?
However, to avoid things like this happening in the future, I've decided to post it up.
Firstly to let you guys, my lovely readers to know me more.
Secondly, friends, please stop doing it yeah?
We can joke with other things, but not this yeah?
I have this ego in me which I can't simply let go, forgive me and understand me yeah?
Love you :)

Side note:
I did mention I have a crush now, right?
I've somehow confessed to him, but we are still friends.
This is life, and I'm admitting defeat to it.
It's always relationships making me lack of courage.
Blah blah blah, WHATEVER!
I'm still happy, because WE are good friends! :D
Anyway, I'll update my previous post with more pictures when my MYE ended.
Sorry, but study is my priority :)
GOODNIGHT, BYE BYE! :D

Virgin trip on Virgo! :D

As you all know, my birthday celebrations are spread over a week!
And this time round, I brought my celebration to Indian Ocean ( I guess? :x )
It's from 2 April 2010 to 4 April 2010 and let's see my awesome ride! :D

First day, woke up early to finalise my packing with Mum and off we go to Harbourfront Cruise Center!
Waiting for my mum's friend to come and here come's cam-whoring!
Hmm, maybe not, I'm not a fan of my looks! Hahaha!
Me and my mum! Some say I look like her and some don't.
Hmm, in my opinion, except my eyes and my nose, I do look like her :D
Mum pulling luggage, sorry for the poor quality, I wonder what happened to my camera.
My camera failed to show my mum's long and nicely shaped legs :(
Look at the sky, it's nice right? :D
However, the construction spoiled everything. :( :( :(
Anyway, let's move on.
I'm suppose to enjoy the trip, and hell yes, I DID! :D
So, we proceeded to the counter and got our room card.
And you know, when we walk to our door, we took out the card and slot in.

ALRIGHT, cut the crap! Let's see my room! :D

I see TV! I see TV! Though there are no Singapore's channel, but I'm fond of it because there's Hong Kong Channel! :D Kinda good right?
Bed and the extra-ed luggage ;) It's kinda luxurious, for a cruise :D
Bathroom, hmm, seems good... And let's see...
Hmm, it's good! The shower area isn't too small, though it's small.
All right, I'm contradicting myself.
It's just nice for me and my mum.
Sad to say that we can't sleep in a balcony room as my mum's a new member, but we're glad to have such a good quality staying - sleeping area! :D

I'm eager to show the place, it's gorgeous, in my opinion.
Though my camera does no justice to this place, but readers!
You can use your powerful imagining skills right? :D

A view taken from the lift :)
From the counter area :)
Sea view from the Cruise :)
1 Narcissistic pic from yours truly :D

Oh oh oh! I'm late for something, sorry!
I shall edit the post when I'm back! SO SORRY!
Bye! :D

100th post = HAPPY POST! :D

Oh yeah, this is my 100th blog post and just nice, I'm blogging about my Birthday :)
So, let's start this draggy elaboration!
Don't anticipate, you might sleep :x

P.s, this is my first birthday celebration in my 17 years of life...

28 March 2010, my first celebration of the week :)
Me, Jiaqi, Alton, Mingyan Dongsaeng, Ray ( Dongsaeng's friend ), Xingyu, Joeyjie, Rachael B and Benjamin Bro went to sentosa for a celebration.
B and Bro came late, so the rest of us went to have Luge and Skyride! :D
Jiaqi was screaming on the Skyride as she has Acrophobia, poor thing.
However, we are all alive!
Safe huh?
DUH! XP

Proceed to the beach for some cooling down session and guess what?
No, you don't to guess as Singapore is FREAKING HOT!
We are burning and melting instead of cooling down.
We expected some eye candies at the beach playing volleyball, but the heat distracted us.
TOTALLY!
Didn't take many pictures with my camera, the heat made me couldn't think rationally...
And, the storm came~
Oh well, everything turned out fine, so no point dwelling on it. :)

Here's some pictures! :D

Me and Dongsaeng at the beach, it's windy for a moment but just when we are leaving, the sun came out again.
That's the reason for my messy hair :x

Ray and Dongsaeng :)
On the Skyride :P
Dongsaeng and Ray again :P
Lastly, my photo to end the 28 March Session :D
Oh, and part of Alton :) That's the skinny arm of his!
I want! LOL!

Let's move on :) 1st April 2010, THE ACTUAL DAY!
I rushed from school to the venue, Hougang Community Center.
Before rushing to the venue, I went to Heartland Mall to collect my 1.5 kg Hazelnut Cake.
I didn't eat though, I ate the strawberry :D
Anyway, back to topic. :)

It started at 6.30, and more and more people came in.
If I'm not wrong, 40 over people came and made the place real crowded.
THANKS FOR EVERYONE WHO CAME! :D
Didn't take many pictures as usual, was too busy entertaining people.
But, I feel good, REALLY :D

Will update with all the pictures when I'm back, have to go off now.
Bye People! :)

//: UPDATED ON 14 MAY 2010
I KNOW IT'S VERY VERY VERY LATE, I'M SO SORRY! :/
Anyway, here's the pictures! :D

I look pretty shag, try rushing to this after school, it's no joke! :OHanrey, my friend. It's just angle problem, we are normal friends.
I have crush and my baby, remember? XD

Me and my 1.5 KG customised Birthday Cake! :D Hazelnut, yum yum!With my 2 cute little cousins! I love them the most, which means I'm very strict towards them as well.
Well, I wish them well, and they always know :D
With Bestmate! She's pretty right? Too bad, she's taken for going 2 years! :D
Love her!

I have much more photos, but it's not with me.
They are mostly taken using my friends' cameras and they have no intention to send me.
Laughs, in fact, I can't even remember asking from them!
Hee hee hee! XP
Please anticipate my next blog post, I'm gonna post about my virgin trip to Superstar Virgo!
Bang bang!
Ha ha ha! :D
Annyeong! Bye bye! :D

Sorry for the emotional post yesterday, was feeling real down and lost.
However, I'm fine now. :)
Why? Because 1st of April is reaching!
Oh my GAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
Ha ha ha! I'm sparkling! *bling!

Oh well, anyway, I'm going to have my celebration first up on this coming Sunday!
If you guys read my twitter, it's obvious where I wanna go.
Ben Bro was like, the whole world knows where are we going at what time.
LOL! Come on! I'm a commoner alright?
Ha ha ha ha!!!! :D

Oh oh oh! Anyway, I'm having another round of celebration on the day itself.
I'm going to invite my friends and relatives, and it'll be a K-session as my mum booked a K-hall! :D
So, please stay by your facebook/phone/msn, I'll get to you soon! :D

ANYWAY! Let's get back to subject.
My birthday wishes, or to be direct, what I want for as birthday present! :D
1: Studio, Beats by Dr. Dre headphone, customised colour which cost US$500!
2: Nikon D90 kit which cost S$1888 for Challenger member, S$1999 for prices island-wide.
3: Lie Detector can be found on eBay which cost S$168
4: SHOW LUO's CONCERT, Cat 1 ticket which cost $178
Blah blah blah~ I'm just so greedy!
Oh well, you may not need to buy one of it ALL BY YOURSELF.
You can find 9 more people and split cost among 10 :)
Ha ha! I'm just kidding people!
I'm working towards it still! :D

Ah, gosh! I need to do my homework already, bye people!
Have a nice day ahead! :)

L for Love?

Hey everyone, sorry for the hiatus.
I didn't leave it unattended on purpose, I'm just too busy for everything.
I feel kinda shitty as I can't seem to accomplish anything.
Yeah, I meant EVERYTHING, literally.
Oh well, see how it goes...

Let's not track back my schedule, you guys might sleep.
You guys know how MUCH I can type in a post, right? :D
So, just a little food for thought.
Watched 'L for Love, L for Lies' yesterday on Channel 8.
For your information, it's a movie starrring Alex Fong and Stephy Tang.
I've watched it like, 3 times? But the same feeling comes back to me all the time.

There's this part, when Leila Tong confesses to her boyfriend about her speeches.
" I often kick up a big fuss, that's because I want you to understand me and care about me.
When I said that I don't want to, it actually means that I want to.
When I said that I don't feel like it, it actually means that I feel like it.
When I said that I wanna go on diet, I'm actually waiting for you to say ' It's okay, you're not fat, I love the way you are and that's enough '... "

My heart wrenched when I heard this, period.
It's always the case, isn't it?
I often say that I'm ugly, I'm fat, I wanna go on a diet, I wanna go for plastic surgery, but anyone knows the reason behind it?
When I say these, everyone will say, 'Crazy!'.
I just wanna hear things like, you are pretty enough, you are skinny enough... etc
Just these, is it very difficult?
Or maybe, it's just things that people don't feel right to say because I ain't pretty and skinny in reality.
Yeah, true enough, I'm not skinny as I have muscles, or I should say, developed muscles.
I have a huge build, but is that what I want?
I can't be any lighter anymore, I have no choice but to enhance on my body contour.
I don't want to get compared with people about my looks, it hurts my pride.
I know I should face the fact, but I can't as it is indirectly hurting my mum too.
She uses almost half of her lifetime nurturing me, spent 8 months plus to protect me in her womb and gave me nutrients, and painstakingly gave birth to me.
She doesn't want to see me looking down upon myself.
I don't want myself to have low self esteem either, but I just can't seem to level it up.

It seems like I'm kicking a big fuss over things that can't be changed in a split second.
However, yeah, I'm just like that.
I hate the fact that no one is actually knowing how I feel.
I hate the fact that only mum is giving me all the love that made me feel real guilty about it because I know that I am unable to repay her back.
I hate the fact that I cannot lighten my mum's burden for our life expenses.
That's the reason why I have so many outside commitments, I want to have a nice portfolio, to earn money.
I want to lighten my mum's burden.
Teachers reading this, do you now understand why can't I hand in my work on time?
Do you now understand why can't I seem to devote my time into schoolwork and CCA?
I can't let my mum carry everything, it's too heavy and tiring for her.
That's why I want to find work, I want to lessen my mum's burden.

Can you understand, my dear teachers?
Oh well, I doubt my teachers read this..
Yeah, whatever man.
No one can help me when I don't wanna help myself.
Blah blah blah, bye people.