現在已是淩晨4點鐘，抱歉，我不是張智成。
有點冷，對不起。
不知怎的，我睡不着。
自己一個人在房間裏，對著電腦的熒幕發呆。
突然有點突發奇想，所以，便上來這裡更新部落格。
當我站在人群裏，看到成群結隊的人們，我發現我是孤獨的。
我發現，這世界是可怕的。
不認識你的人，也可以是你生命的絆腳石。
流言穢語，比真槍實彈來的可怕。
因爲，真槍實彈造成的傷害，是身理上的。
而流言穢語，是心靈上的。
身理的傷，能靠動手術、吃葯、做物理治療而痊愈。
然而，心靈上的創傷，並不是一朝一夕便能治愈的。
葯，雖能克制自己的情緒，但這只治標不治本。
當你漸漸把自己封閉起來時，沒有人能夠治得好你。
只有你，你有那把鑰匙，才能解開心鎖。
曾經有人告訴我這故事。
以前，有位嬌身慣養的大少爺。
他的脾氣非常暴躁，常拿僕人來出氣。
他的父親見了，十分擔憂。
他擔心兒子以後會過分心高氣傲，便想到了個法子。
他告訴兒子，每當他拿僕人出氣時，便在柱子上錠一口釘。
兒子聼了，便照作。
一個月后，父親讓兒子看看他錠了釘的柱子。
兒子說道，柱子上有那麽多釘子，非常之難看。
父親便說，如果兒子能夠沉得住氣，想發脾氣時能忍下，便能夠拿下一個釘子。
兒子聼了很高興，便每天努力的沉住氣。
日子久了，柱子上的釘子也漸漸減少。
終于到了某一天，兒子把最後一個釘子給摘了下來。
他很高興的告訴了父親，而父親卻對他說了這番話。
“雖然你把釘子都摘了下來，可柱子上還有那些釘痕不是嗎？
雖然你現在能夠把氣給沉住了，可是，之前你對他們的傷害已烙印在他們的心裏，不是嗎？”
這故事，真的一巴掌打醒了我這沉睡中的野人。
以前的我，只管把自己想說的直接表達。
不喜歡的事，馬上反應給別人知道。
我以爲，只要我說，他們就能夠明白道我不喜歡他們這樣做。
然而，並不是每個人能夠接受我的表達方式。
在這裡，我想對被我的快言快語所傷害的人，致上我深深的歉意。
原諒我的不善言辭，希望你們能夠原諒。
我知道，我對你們的傷害，並不是一句對不起就能抹掉的。
我，也不期望你們能原諒與諒解我。
我只想說的是，如今的我，就像蛹裏的蝴蝶，等待破繭而出。
期待我的蛻變，相信我的朋友們，還有看不起我的人。
支持我的朋友們，我愛你們，因爲你們，我才能屹立不倒，咬緊牙根撐下去。
看不起我的人，我更愛你們，因爲你們，我才了解到我並非那麽接近完美。
人不可能完美，但能接近完美，而我離接近完美還差一大截。
而我，會不斷的努力，不是要變成你們心目中接近完美的人物，而是要變成我心目中完美的靈魂。
畢竟，我的生命，是該由我來自己掌控。=D
這故事，不只是要提醒我，也是要提醒在電腦熒幕前的你，說話要有技巧。
現在的我，每天都會想，今天我是否用言語無心的傷害了人。
說話前，也試著把話説得圓些。
今天的你，是否無心地用言語傷害了人呢？
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Memorable memories~
Hey people, sorry for not updating recently.
Well, have been going to school and things, pretty boring you see.
Since there's so little things to update, I might as well not update.
Anyway, had celebrated my Grandfather's birthday yesterday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I know he wouldn't be able to see my blog, and don't understand what am I saying, but I am saying it here.
Grandpa, sorry for being so wilful, so disrespectful towards you.
I know you mean well, you wanted me to study, singing will leave till I received my certificate.
You wanted me to study, and said things that are harsh to me.
As I set my priority to singing, you said that singing will destroy my future.
I am devastated, of course, as I think you do not know that music is my life.
Sorry for saying nasty things to you, to be so disrespectful.
Now that you've been contracted with Pakinson Disease, and there's nothing I can do for you.
I am remorseful of saying all these things to you, and I know that saying sorry doesn't wipe off the sins that I've done towards you.
I just hope that when you still have memories towards me, when you still do recognise me, I will be filial to you.
What I really hope is, to get good grades and get into good schools, to let you be proud of me.
Action speaks louder than words, I know, I have to do it.
So, I am putting in all my effort to study, to stay alert in class.
I want to stand on stage next year, during speech day, and say that I didn't let you down.
What's important, is that I want you to see me enjoy in the joy of success, and share it with you.
I will be your proud granddaughter, I want you to be proud of me.
I want you to tell your friends and relatives that, hey, Benita is my granddaughter.
She can sing and she gets into good school with good grades.
I hope that my words aren't like loud thunder but small drizzles.
Memories doesn't hold anything, but memories sure do help in our way in maturing.
Experiences, are part of our memories, are tools in helping us to smoothen our journey.
I want to write a new chapter of life, forgetting the past me.
However, forgetting doesn't mean that it didn't happen.
Hence, I will cherish the memories I've got, to allow me to not let myself regret.
Memories come with pictures, however, my photos are not yet done as some are kind of blur.
So, I will try to updoad it by tomorrow alright?
See you people, goodbye =D
Well, have been going to school and things, pretty boring you see.
Since there's so little things to update, I might as well not update.
Anyway, had celebrated my Grandfather's birthday yesterday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I know he wouldn't be able to see my blog, and don't understand what am I saying, but I am saying it here.
Grandpa, sorry for being so wilful, so disrespectful towards you.
I know you mean well, you wanted me to study, singing will leave till I received my certificate.
You wanted me to study, and said things that are harsh to me.
As I set my priority to singing, you said that singing will destroy my future.
I am devastated, of course, as I think you do not know that music is my life.
Sorry for saying nasty things to you, to be so disrespectful.
Now that you've been contracted with Pakinson Disease, and there's nothing I can do for you.
I am remorseful of saying all these things to you, and I know that saying sorry doesn't wipe off the sins that I've done towards you.
I just hope that when you still have memories towards me, when you still do recognise me, I will be filial to you.
What I really hope is, to get good grades and get into good schools, to let you be proud of me.
Action speaks louder than words, I know, I have to do it.
So, I am putting in all my effort to study, to stay alert in class.
I want to stand on stage next year, during speech day, and say that I didn't let you down.
What's important, is that I want you to see me enjoy in the joy of success, and share it with you.
I will be your proud granddaughter, I want you to be proud of me.
I want you to tell your friends and relatives that, hey, Benita is my granddaughter.
She can sing and she gets into good school with good grades.
I hope that my words aren't like loud thunder but small drizzles.
Memories doesn't hold anything, but memories sure do help in our way in maturing.
Experiences, are part of our memories, are tools in helping us to smoothen our journey.
I want to write a new chapter of life, forgetting the past me.
However, forgetting doesn't mean that it didn't happen.
Hence, I will cherish the memories I've got, to allow me to not let myself regret.
Memories come with pictures, however, my photos are not yet done as some are kind of blur.
So, I will try to updoad it by tomorrow alright?
See you people, goodbye =D
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Food
I can't go to sleep, so I shall post before I lie on my bed.
Anyway, I slept at 3 plus in the morning, I was busy pimping my calculator.
I didn't finish pimping it of course, so I went to bed.
Woke up at 2 plus in the afternoon to continue, and I am done with it.
I guess? I didn't buy enough crystals anyway.
Well, I should update about yesterday.
Yesterday was a bang, I LOVE YESTERDAY.
Went of with Sisterlovelovelove for shopping, and I bought a lot of things.
In total, I spent about 200 dollars, and that was a lot.
However, I still have my savings, so my financial wasn't affected.
Ate at Sakae Sushi with lovelove and Mum at Heartland Mall, then we headed over to Bugis.
Proceed to Arab Street and bought loads of crystals, I love crystals.
People think that I am crazy, but this is just the same as Hui Shi liking Leopard prints.
I love Crystals and Stars, they shine and sparkle.
I know that I am unable to shine, so I am pending my hope on Crystals and Stars.
This is just, a wish, I might say that.
So, after buying my crystals, went to Bugis Street.
Went to 2nd storey straightaway to a cosmetic shop, because lovelove's eyelash is coming off.
Bought eyelash glue, and she used it right away.
While I'm in the shop testing out perfume.
I WANT THAT DELICIOUS NIGHT Eau De Parfum.
Gosh, I am so into perfume, I like that smell.
Though it's a bit strong, because it's for night, but I like it.
A little bit of digression, let's carry on. =D
Headed over to a shop, and I bought 3 tank tops and a Tee.
In total, it costs 62 dollars.
Anyway, the crystals was 63 dollars.
Lovelove saw a vest that she liked, and she said she is going to buy it today.
I am not sure about that, because I was too tired to call and ask her.
Opps, I don't mean it. =p
We bought an over length tee with same design, different colour.
This is a bit crazy, but it's not the first time we are doing this.
We love each other so much, you know?!
10 dollars for that each.
Laughs, continue after digression again.
I bought a pair of shoe, checkered prints, I love it.
However, I didn't try it, because that was my size.
That was 22 dollars.
Bought 3 tube tops, 15 dollars in total.
So till now, it was 62+63+15+10+22=172 DOLLARS!
Headed over to Central @ Clarke Quay, walked around and sat down to have a drink at Yoshinoya.
Just a drink, because we are waiting to have KOREAN CUISINE for our dinner.
3 dollars for that drink, so one-fifty for each person.
Walked around, found nothing, so headed over to Korean restaurant.
Cabbed there at 7 dollars, but used NETS, so seven-thirty.
That makes three-sixty-five per person.
It's located at Mosque Street, opened by Korean couple.
Their food are delicious, a must try!
Ate Black Noodle, BBQ Pork Belly and Potato Pancake, total of $40.70.
However, they don't accept NETS, so I have to walk all the way to Chinatown Point to withdraw money.
My old shoe hurts my ankle much, so I changed my new shoe.
And guess what, it is so tight that I have to wear it like slippers.
Darn, I feel so retarded.
Shall continue tomorrow, I am tired already.
Goodnight people.
Sorry for this post, I feel bimbotic though.
However, this is a life of a shopaholic! =D
Anyway, I slept at 3 plus in the morning, I was busy pimping my calculator.
I didn't finish pimping it of course, so I went to bed.
Woke up at 2 plus in the afternoon to continue, and I am done with it.
I guess? I didn't buy enough crystals anyway.
Well, I should update about yesterday.
Yesterday was a bang, I LOVE YESTERDAY.
Went of with Sisterlovelovelove for shopping, and I bought a lot of things.
In total, I spent about 200 dollars, and that was a lot.
However, I still have my savings, so my financial wasn't affected.
Ate at Sakae Sushi with lovelove and Mum at Heartland Mall, then we headed over to Bugis.
Proceed to Arab Street and bought loads of crystals, I love crystals.
People think that I am crazy, but this is just the same as Hui Shi liking Leopard prints.
I love Crystals and Stars, they shine and sparkle.
I know that I am unable to shine, so I am pending my hope on Crystals and Stars.
This is just, a wish, I might say that.
So, after buying my crystals, went to Bugis Street.
Went to 2nd storey straightaway to a cosmetic shop, because lovelove's eyelash is coming off.
Bought eyelash glue, and she used it right away.
While I'm in the shop testing out perfume.
I WANT THAT DELICIOUS NIGHT Eau De Parfum.
Gosh, I am so into perfume, I like that smell.
Though it's a bit strong, because it's for night, but I like it.
A little bit of digression, let's carry on. =D
Headed over to a shop, and I bought 3 tank tops and a Tee.
In total, it costs 62 dollars.
Anyway, the crystals was 63 dollars.
Lovelove saw a vest that she liked, and she said she is going to buy it today.
I am not sure about that, because I was too tired to call and ask her.
Opps, I don't mean it. =p
We bought an over length tee with same design, different colour.
This is a bit crazy, but it's not the first time we are doing this.
We love each other so much, you know?!
10 dollars for that each.
Laughs, continue after digression again.
I bought a pair of shoe, checkered prints, I love it.
However, I didn't try it, because that was my size.
That was 22 dollars.
Bought 3 tube tops, 15 dollars in total.
So till now, it was 62+63+15+10+22=172 DOLLARS!
Headed over to Central @ Clarke Quay, walked around and sat down to have a drink at Yoshinoya.
Just a drink, because we are waiting to have KOREAN CUISINE for our dinner.
3 dollars for that drink, so one-fifty for each person.
Walked around, found nothing, so headed over to Korean restaurant.
Cabbed there at 7 dollars, but used NETS, so seven-thirty.
That makes three-sixty-five per person.
It's located at Mosque Street, opened by Korean couple.
Their food are delicious, a must try!
Ate Black Noodle, BBQ Pork Belly and Potato Pancake, total of $40.70.
However, they don't accept NETS, so I have to walk all the way to Chinatown Point to withdraw money.
My old shoe hurts my ankle much, so I changed my new shoe.
And guess what, it is so tight that I have to wear it like slippers.
Darn, I feel so retarded.
Shall continue tomorrow, I am tired already.
Goodnight people.
Sorry for this post, I feel bimbotic though.
However, this is a life of a shopaholic! =D
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Enlightenment
Posting my mundane life, I would rather post my thoughts. =D
See my Plurk, I did said that my left knee hurts right?
My facebook did mention too right?
Alright, thing happens this way.
Yesterday, I went for my Physical Education and took National Physical Fitness Assessment (NAPFA) test.
Did Inclined Pull-Up and Sit and Reach, got quite a good result but not my standard.
Well, my stamina dropped, blame me. =(
Anyway, when I was doing my Shuttle Run, running for second lapse, I lost my balance and fell.
Face facing the floor, I was lucky enough that I can see and hear properly as in the past, I couldn't see a thing nor hear a thing when I fall.
However, my right palm and left knee was injured.
My right palm was numb and swollen, I could feel nothing when I press my palm.
My left knee was bleeding, was feeling alright at first, but painful afterward.
Anyway, this was just a brief story of yesterday's happening.
Went for one to one Geography supplementary with Miss Chua, and I would like to say, you enlightened me real much.
I had queries about life and friendship, and she told me things like that.
"Not because of my popularity, not because of what I've done, not because of my background, but because of me, they are my friends."
Indeed, true friends are like that, and I am glad that I've got a few of friends who treated me truly not because of anything but me.
I do question, why do people don't understand me?
This is what she told me,
"Because you are afraid of getting hurt, you create a wall, an invisible wall that keeps you away from your classmates and people around you. When they (classmates) wanted to get close to you, you often create that wall that makes them keep away from you. Cynical, you often think things very negatively, you are too strict and stern. Therefore, a lot of people keep away from you."
Yes, I am cynical, I am like Dill in To Kill A Mockingbird who often think things negatively.
I wonder why, but I am not as open as anyone.
Because I'm afraid of getting hurt, I create a barrier to protect myself and due to this, I am often unhappy.
I don't get it, before talking to Miss Chua, why should we take life that easily when life is that short.
Guess what she told me?
She said that it is because life is short, we have to take things lightly to be happy, to enjoy through this short life.
It's like a knock at my head, I woke up.
Really, it makes sense.
Having a sad and unhappy short life, why not live your life happily and not to regret that you are always happy.
Right?
Thanks a lot Miss Chua, you are great, seriously.
Enlightenment, my life is brighter now.
Lights are lit up, and I am brave enough to face all challenges.
"No one is able to mock you except for yourself"
I will remember this, no one will be able to mock me, unless me myself feels sad about the mockery made by people.
Thanks a lot.
This post is also for my SISTERLOVE, I am now having a crazy chat with her.
We will live our life happily, no matter what thing struck our life.
There are so many happy things waiting for us to encounter, why dwell over sad matter?
Right?
Anyway, I JUST CAN'T WAIT FOR SATURDAY TO COME!
WE ARE GOING TO SHOP TILL WE DROP, EAT KOREAN CUISINE AND SHE IS GOING TO STAY OVER AT MY HOUSE.
ISN'T THIS CRAZY???
Laughs, I am crazy and hyper active now.
Pardon me, when I started doing things, like at earlier time, I am packing up my room, I have more energy for other things.
Weird, but this is me.
I am happy to be me, alright?
Okay, got to go.
Goodnight people, stay happy always! =D
Everyday is a brand new day and beautiful day.
B-E-A-utiful~
See my Plurk, I did said that my left knee hurts right?
My facebook did mention too right?
Alright, thing happens this way.
Yesterday, I went for my Physical Education and took National Physical Fitness Assessment (NAPFA) test.
Did Inclined Pull-Up and Sit and Reach, got quite a good result but not my standard.
Well, my stamina dropped, blame me. =(
Anyway, when I was doing my Shuttle Run, running for second lapse, I lost my balance and fell.
Face facing the floor, I was lucky enough that I can see and hear properly as in the past, I couldn't see a thing nor hear a thing when I fall.
However, my right palm and left knee was injured.
My right palm was numb and swollen, I could feel nothing when I press my palm.
My left knee was bleeding, was feeling alright at first, but painful afterward.
Anyway, this was just a brief story of yesterday's happening.
Went for one to one Geography supplementary with Miss Chua, and I would like to say, you enlightened me real much.
I had queries about life and friendship, and she told me things like that.
"Not because of my popularity, not because of what I've done, not because of my background, but because of me, they are my friends."
Indeed, true friends are like that, and I am glad that I've got a few of friends who treated me truly not because of anything but me.
I do question, why do people don't understand me?
This is what she told me,
"Because you are afraid of getting hurt, you create a wall, an invisible wall that keeps you away from your classmates and people around you. When they (classmates) wanted to get close to you, you often create that wall that makes them keep away from you. Cynical, you often think things very negatively, you are too strict and stern. Therefore, a lot of people keep away from you."
Yes, I am cynical, I am like Dill in To Kill A Mockingbird who often think things negatively.
I wonder why, but I am not as open as anyone.
Because I'm afraid of getting hurt, I create a barrier to protect myself and due to this, I am often unhappy.
I don't get it, before talking to Miss Chua, why should we take life that easily when life is that short.
Guess what she told me?
She said that it is because life is short, we have to take things lightly to be happy, to enjoy through this short life.
It's like a knock at my head, I woke up.
Really, it makes sense.
Having a sad and unhappy short life, why not live your life happily and not to regret that you are always happy.
Right?
Thanks a lot Miss Chua, you are great, seriously.
Enlightenment, my life is brighter now.
Lights are lit up, and I am brave enough to face all challenges.
"No one is able to mock you except for yourself"
I will remember this, no one will be able to mock me, unless me myself feels sad about the mockery made by people.
Thanks a lot.
This post is also for my SISTERLOVE, I am now having a crazy chat with her.
We will live our life happily, no matter what thing struck our life.
There are so many happy things waiting for us to encounter, why dwell over sad matter?
Right?
Anyway, I JUST CAN'T WAIT FOR SATURDAY TO COME!
WE ARE GOING TO SHOP TILL WE DROP, EAT KOREAN CUISINE AND SHE IS GOING TO STAY OVER AT MY HOUSE.
ISN'T THIS CRAZY???
Laughs, I am crazy and hyper active now.
Pardon me, when I started doing things, like at earlier time, I am packing up my room, I have more energy for other things.
Weird, but this is me.
I am happy to be me, alright?
Okay, got to go.
Goodnight people, stay happy always! =D
Everyday is a brand new day and beautiful day.
B-E-A-utiful~
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Thoughts
Dance like Nobody's watching
Love like You've never been hurt
Sing like No One is listening
Work like You don't need the money
Live life everyday as if it were Your last
Love like You've never been hurt
Sing like No One is listening
Work like You don't need the money
Live life everyday as if it were Your last
-Father Alfred D'Souza
This is a scene shown at the last episode in 'My Lovely Samsoon', when Samsoon felt lost in life as HyunBin hasn't been contacting her for months.
It gives me lots of time for thinking, isn't this what I've been doing for my life?
I always sing my hearts out, I seldom care much whether anyone is listening.
I used to study much, as what I need is knowledge and not certificate.
I've been trying to live my life to the fruitiest, as I know life is short, I don't want to leave this world having a day of regret.
I still dance, even though people laugh at me as I have not been dancing for years, my physio is stiff.
Isn't this what I've been thinking?
This has always been what I think, whenever I do things.
However, it isn't that easy.
No matter how I wished I can be like what Father Alfred said, but I really want people to pay attention when I sing.
I really hoped that people would appreciate the effort I put in for dance, and give me an applause when I finish dancing.
Uncountable "How I wished..."
However, life just doesn't come at your wish, it's just near to impossible.
It does happen, however, but just that little.
A lot of singer doesn't have much chance to shine on stage, like how they deserve.
They have fine voices, however, lady luck just doesn't give them a chance.
Pathetic, pity?
Nope, they still sing, even though they are not as popular.
戴愛玲,羅美玲, they have beautiful voices, but just not as recognised.
Life is like this, You can be good, but You just need luck to let You shine at what You are good at.
Helpless, but what can they do?
Do like what Father Alfred said, Sing like No One is listening.
They are brave, I respect them.
I wished to be like them.
However, things doesn't only consist of whether You wish or not.
It also means whether You want or not.
And, do You have the ability to do so.
When You want and have the ability, it also matters when You are determined or not.
Things goes in cycle, unchangeable.
Sigh, that goes beyond saying.
Well, I should sleep and not think about this as I really feel myself kind of useless.
I am unable to control the situation, as I am just a normal person.
Alright, go off now.
Goodnight.
This is a scene shown at the last episode in 'My Lovely Samsoon', when Samsoon felt lost in life as HyunBin hasn't been contacting her for months.
It gives me lots of time for thinking, isn't this what I've been doing for my life?
I always sing my hearts out, I seldom care much whether anyone is listening.
I used to study much, as what I need is knowledge and not certificate.
I've been trying to live my life to the fruitiest, as I know life is short, I don't want to leave this world having a day of regret.
I still dance, even though people laugh at me as I have not been dancing for years, my physio is stiff.
Isn't this what I've been thinking?
This has always been what I think, whenever I do things.
However, it isn't that easy.
No matter how I wished I can be like what Father Alfred said, but I really want people to pay attention when I sing.
I really hoped that people would appreciate the effort I put in for dance, and give me an applause when I finish dancing.
Uncountable "How I wished..."
However, life just doesn't come at your wish, it's just near to impossible.
It does happen, however, but just that little.
A lot of singer doesn't have much chance to shine on stage, like how they deserve.
They have fine voices, however, lady luck just doesn't give them a chance.
Pathetic, pity?
Nope, they still sing, even though they are not as popular.
戴愛玲,羅美玲, they have beautiful voices, but just not as recognised.
Life is like this, You can be good, but You just need luck to let You shine at what You are good at.
Helpless, but what can they do?
Do like what Father Alfred said, Sing like No One is listening.
They are brave, I respect them.
I wished to be like them.
However, things doesn't only consist of whether You wish or not.
It also means whether You want or not.
And, do You have the ability to do so.
When You want and have the ability, it also matters when You are determined or not.
Things goes in cycle, unchangeable.
Sigh, that goes beyond saying.
Well, I should sleep and not think about this as I really feel myself kind of useless.
I am unable to control the situation, as I am just a normal person.
Alright, go off now.
Goodnight.
Monday, July 13, 2009
School life, no concentration!
I mentioned in my PLURK that I have been smiling to myself since Friday night.
Alright, I really find myself weird, I wanted to control myself but unable to.
Today, I have been screaming and whining in class, and my classmates kept laughing at my comedic act.
Sorry Tongyy and PeiWen, must have scared you two out right?
I tried to control already, and I am sure I can control in few days time.
Feelings can be changed with sheer force effort, I learned it in MY GIRL. =D
Sorry that you two still have to endure for another few more days, my apologies. =x
Someone text-ed me when I am at home, I wonder how he/she finds out about my schedule.
Anyway, he/she is worried whether am I concentrating on studies today, and I am proud to say, I DID! =D
Hasn't been concentrating on last week, because too many things came one at a go.
It's rather too much for me to handle, and partly is because of someone.
He/she said that he/she saw me in such plight, gives him/her heartache.
Sorry my dear, I am alright now, because of you! =D
You made my day, and kept me smiling to myself since Friday.
Even my MUM asked, 'Someone came back, and you are that happy huh?'
Gosh, she always teases me, but I still love her, though I do not know how to express myself well enough.
This made me often making her angry, and I am truly sorry about.
I failed to be a responsible daughter that will make you proud for these 4 years, but rest assure that I will be a passable one from now.
You have my words, and I love you, MUM.
Oh well, why no concentration?
I am concentrating less on Chemistry, I am concentrating much on Literature.
It's better to ensure at least a pass for Literature for the time being, then start to excel everything slowly and all at go.
Can I make it? Let's see alright? =D
I shall make a move now, though I am not that tired because I had a long afternoon nap.
My visions are not really clear as I slept too much.
I am rather bored, because someone just went off without telling me beforehand.
Well, I understand why he/she go off, so I'm okay with it. =D
Alright, leaving now.
Goodbye and goodnight people! =D
Alright, I really find myself weird, I wanted to control myself but unable to.
Today, I have been screaming and whining in class, and my classmates kept laughing at my comedic act.
Sorry Tongyy and PeiWen, must have scared you two out right?
I tried to control already, and I am sure I can control in few days time.
Feelings can be changed with sheer force effort, I learned it in MY GIRL. =D
Sorry that you two still have to endure for another few more days, my apologies. =x
Someone text-ed me when I am at home, I wonder how he/she finds out about my schedule.
Anyway, he/she is worried whether am I concentrating on studies today, and I am proud to say, I DID! =D
Hasn't been concentrating on last week, because too many things came one at a go.
It's rather too much for me to handle, and partly is because of someone.
He/she said that he/she saw me in such plight, gives him/her heartache.
Sorry my dear, I am alright now, because of you! =D
You made my day, and kept me smiling to myself since Friday.
Even my MUM asked, 'Someone came back, and you are that happy huh?'
Gosh, she always teases me, but I still love her, though I do not know how to express myself well enough.
This made me often making her angry, and I am truly sorry about.
I failed to be a responsible daughter that will make you proud for these 4 years, but rest assure that I will be a passable one from now.
You have my words, and I love you, MUM.
Oh well, why no concentration?
I am concentrating less on Chemistry, I am concentrating much on Literature.
It's better to ensure at least a pass for Literature for the time being, then start to excel everything slowly and all at go.
Can I make it? Let's see alright? =D
I shall make a move now, though I am not that tired because I had a long afternoon nap.
My visions are not really clear as I slept too much.
I am rather bored, because someone just went off without telling me beforehand.
Well, I understand why he/she go off, so I'm okay with it. =D
Alright, leaving now.
Goodbye and goodnight people! =D
Sunday, July 12, 2009
I admit defeat.
I've lost, lost in the war of battling against my health.
Damn it, I am really feeling giddy and nauseous.
I've really trying my very best to keep myself healthy, but I am just so easily fall sick.
Stupid me, why????!!!!
Well, I admit defeat, really.
Gosh, from now on, I have to eat healthily, true healthy.
However, I have no appetite recently, unsure of the reason to it.
I am afraid that I am having Anorexia, symptoms hit on.
Should I consult a doctor?
But I am afraid of eating loads of medicine and psychology consultation.
What should I do?
BE STRONG, BENITA!!!
FIGHTING! =D
Well, to be truthful, I think I am really in lunacy.
I have been smiling to myself, since Friday.
Mum knows what happened, and she saw my smiling all day long.
She asked me, "Are you really that happy that Someone came back?"
Gosh, isn't this obvious?
Of course I'm happy, my emotions have been going up and down.
Hence, I am not sure how am I feeling now.
Contradicting, I know.
Should really consult a psychiatrist right?
Crazy indeed.
I admit defeat to myself, I've lost.
I shall go off now, before spouting much nonsense here.
Goodbye people. =D
Damn it, I am really feeling giddy and nauseous.
I've really trying my very best to keep myself healthy, but I am just so easily fall sick.
Stupid me, why????!!!!
Well, I admit defeat, really.
Gosh, from now on, I have to eat healthily, true healthy.
However, I have no appetite recently, unsure of the reason to it.
I am afraid that I am having Anorexia, symptoms hit on.
Should I consult a doctor?
But I am afraid of eating loads of medicine and psychology consultation.
What should I do?
BE STRONG, BENITA!!!
FIGHTING! =D
Well, to be truthful, I think I am really in lunacy.
I have been smiling to myself, since Friday.
Mum knows what happened, and she saw my smiling all day long.
She asked me, "Are you really that happy that Someone came back?"
Gosh, isn't this obvious?
Of course I'm happy, my emotions have been going up and down.
Hence, I am not sure how am I feeling now.
Contradicting, I know.
Should really consult a psychiatrist right?
Crazy indeed.
I admit defeat to myself, I've lost.
I shall go off now, before spouting much nonsense here.
Goodbye people. =D
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