Post Christmas and Last Day of 2009

Haven't been blogging, I'm sorry.
I'm packed with lots of activities and I'm glad I have my friends around me :)

Anyway, I rotted at home on Christmas Day, because I have no one to hang out with.
I'm not bored though, because I have my computer and drama series to 'accompany' me.
Sounds kinda boring for some, but I'm completely fine with it.
I'm somehow a 宅女, ha! :D

26th December, POST CHRISTMAS SALES, and I went all the way to VivoCity and bought lots of stuff! :D
It's freaking cheap and I just can't resist the temptation.
Things are way too cheap, I love sales.
However, I'm not a typical Singaporean because I don't really go for freebies.
Opps, I think I'm gonna get bombed by people.
But, I'm stating the fact!
Anyway! Yeah, I love shopping :D

27th December, Post Christmas Celebration at Ray's house.
Met him at Orchard Ion at 4.30, supposedly meeting at 5, but I was late.
Sorry to have kept you waiting, but I'm not the latest!
LOL! This is crap though, because I'm still late.
Anyway, bought food and brought over to his house.
Me and Bro cabbed to Potong Pasir to have our rehearsal done.
I had my rehearsal ended earlier than Bro, but I reached Ray's house later than him as I took a train and he cabbed there.
Money waster!
Continue though, waited for our tardy queen, Rachael Chang!
She's always late and not an exception for the celebration. :x
Had our dinner and we had fun!
Gift exchange was really..., ass!
Wait for Bro's blog to be updated and you'll know why.
I was totally speechless regarding his gift, I feel like fainting.
Reached home 8 in the next morning. First time though! :D
Santa's answering to my wish! Heehee! :D

28th December, rotted at home in the afternoon as I went back to sleep right I changed and cleansed my face.
Night, went to class chalet.
Didn't do much things though, I just can't really clique easily with people.
My world seems kinda far from their worlds, but I still love my class though. :)
Amanda, Jerina, Shumin, Felicia, Darren and more, they never fail to make me smile and laugh.
Played blackjack and won about 60 cents?
Yeah, it's kinda lame I know, but we're still young right? :D
Went home at about 11 as I have work for the next day.

29th December, went to my uncle's place to help out.
I started work at 1pm, and ended at 9.30pm.
Tiring but I love the feeling when you worked hard for something and you get paid :)
I love money! :D but I love to spend them too.
Ha! :D:D:D
Cabbed back to class chalet and guess how much's my cab fare...
It's freaking $21.40!!!!
Alexandra road to Downtown East, wow.
No surcharge, no ERP, no nothing!
I hate taking cab, period.
But if I don't get back to class chalet on time, I don't get to see Mrs. Xie and Mrs. Henry.
I miss them though. :(
Anyway, shown lots of Jo Kwon's videos to Felicia and we were laughing like mad.
Kwon is such an entertainer, I love watching his videos when I'm sad. :D
Hope that he and Ga In stays in 'We Got Married' till the season ends :D
Home sweet home at 11 :D

30th December, yesterday :)
Went for final rehearsal at Khatib, the actual area.
Blah blah blah...
Went for Nuffnang Top Blogger End Of Year party, thanks bro :)
Sang for their some sort singing competition, 1st prize in a Canon Ixus Digital Camera.
I didn't win though, the bloggers wouldn't vote for me as they don't know who am I.
I'm not their friend either, so even if I sing very well, I won't win.
There are people in the world who will always help their friends.
That's why, people who can sing well, often get neglected and talents remain undiscovered.
And people who sings just barely passable, will get supported.
Realistic, practical and unfair this world is, but it's unchangeable too.
I've seen much, and I'm numbed.
Feeling-less. :)

Today, last day of 2009.
I'll do a recapitulation tomorrow though, I'm kinda running out of time.
Will be having a performance at Khatib's countdown party!
Last minute announcement though, but it's been long ever since I've performed in a very huge crowd.
For people who have forgotten how do I sound like, or wanna see how much I've changed in my singing style, or miss me singing ( LOL! So thick-skin! ), please do come down and give the performers your support!
It's located as the large grass field opposite Khatib MRT Station! :D:D
I'm excited, are you? :D:D:D:D:D

Okay, I'm kinda crazy, I'm somehow talking to air because I can't hear your replies!
So, if you want me to hear your replies, come down to Khatib, Yishun Avenue 2 to answer me! :D:D
Okay, I've got to go!
Goodbye everyone!
Bye 2009, I'll say hello to 2010 later! :D
Annyeong!

Christmas eve.

It's Christmas eve, but I'm not exactly happy though.
Eyes puffed and swollen, I hate crying.
I hate quarreling and things that make me feel damn down and pissed.
I need courage,
I need strength,
I need smiles,
I need better emotional intelligences.
Santa, are you able to grant me these wishes?

I've flood myself with tears these few days and I can hardly breathe.
I've drown myself with sorrows and I can hardly hear.
I've pushed myself down the cliff and I can hardly survive.
But, I have to rebirth, stand up, and be stronger.
I need a strength, can I have it? :'(

I've been trying hard to put in 1000% effort in doing everything.
Though I've given up at times, but I managed to pull through at some.
I don't wish for more, I need strength, I need courage.
Please...

Growing up.

I assume a lot of my readers would be able to guess who am I referring to regarding my furious blog post.
Oh well, I need to have a say.

I'm well protected, since young.
Mum always give me love, give me care, give me PROTECTION.
However, I do feel life, doesn't need THAT much of protection.
Through these years, I personally do feel that I have to grow up through experience and not protection.
If I am that protected, I won't be able
to see the world,
to grow my knowledge about the world,
to set up a barrier to protect myself from the ugly side of the world.

Everything has 2 sides, be it coin, human and the world.
If we often see things at the dark side, we might miss out the fun and bright side of life.
If we are always being protected, how would we know how good or bad the world could be.
We will never do, if we are always kept in the 'greenhouse', like some vulnerable plants.
Through experiences, we,
learn to be strong,
learn to be protective,
learn to be better.
I am never gonna learn if I am well kept, things just get worse because I know nothing.
I know nothing about the people,
I know nothing about the things going around,
I know nothing about the world,
I practically know NOTHING.

Well, hope everything gets better as time goes by.
Notebook's battery is dying, finding a socket to charge though.
Goodbye people. (wave)
Anyway, I'm at Queensway shopping centre's Mac now.
:)

生命光輝，無長久。

生命，
是如此的短暫，
是如此的脆弱，
是如此的不堪一擊。

我，
很累，
很無助，
很彷徨，
很脆弱，
很異想天開，
很。。。孤獨。

天氣，真的
很無常，
很多變，
很變幻莫測。

人，
真的是三心二意，
真的是居心叵測，
真的是識別人爲玩物。

人心，果然無法用測量計來衡量它的深度。
貪心，是每個人日常生活的作息。
妒心，是影響整個人的思緒的利害武器。
愛心，是人對於別人所發揮出來的苦口婆心。
良心，卻不是每個人能夠給予別人的愛心。

到底該怎樣克制人的七情六慾？
到底該怎樣克制人的膚淺心理？
到底該怎樣克制人的可惡思緒？
去你的。

生命光輝，無長久。
無法保留住的光輝，果真放不下。
可，強求無用。
命理有時終須有，命理無時莫強求。

生命~

Nothing much

I just feel like doing this post.
I feel bad.
I feel sorry.
I am sorry.

Sorry to people whom I've let down.
Sorry.
Well, sorry doesn't help for shit.
Yeah, goodbye.
Headache sucks though, hate crying for the sake of stupidity.
Bye.

Will only be back when I'm free as I'm not really feeling real well.
Have performance coming up.
Stay tune :)

Fuck it.

I've never thought of leaving you.
I've never ever thought of running away from home.
I've never thought of neglecting you.
However, no matter how much I did, you wouldn't want to trust my friends.
They do no harm to me, why restrict me?
I'm feeling very miserable.

I just wanna see much of the outside world, because I'm too protected.
I don't even know the names of pubs and clubs.
I can't even name much of the alcohol.
What do I know?
Shopping, songs, clothes and some stupid stuff.
WHAT DO I KNOW?

Said that I have turned bad.
In what way?
In what fucking way do you think that I've turned bad?
I don't smoke, I don't fool around with people, I don't do what bad girls did.
I admit that I do drink, but does that mean that I've turned bad?
Just being late home, and you started yelling at me, and forbade me to not hang out with my friends.
My friends are not incorrigible people, don't fucking judge them.

You should know that no one can influence me, unless me myself decides to get influenced by people.
What's more, I'm still me.
I have friends who smoke, but do I freaking smoke?
I have friends who've done things that are way too crossing the border, but do I?
What I want is freedom, and you claimed that you gave me much.
Yeah right.
If restricting me in hanging out my friends is what you meant by giving me freedom, thanks.
I think, I am not worthy for your care anymore.

I just need your trust.
I will still love you.
But, if you don't trust me, how do you think that I can love you as much as in the past?
I'm not being rebellious, but like what I've said to you before.
If you are going to restrict me any further, I can't guarantee that I can still be that 'good girl'.

Bear this in mind, I love you.
You are my closest in this world, do you think that I would leave you.
I won't.
So do give me trust, will you?
This will be my wish for this Christmas, Santa, can you grant me this wish? :'(
I really want to spend more time with my friends.
I know that I'm blessed to be protected and someone nagging around me, but I do know how to protect myself.
Though there are many people out there whom I don't know and I can't read their minds, but if I'm scared, I can just leave that place straightaway.
I'm a clear minded person, I do know how to see.
Trust me, will you?

Lack lack lack!

Oh gosh, I totally forgot the fact that I actually have a blog.
I've been practicing, singing and hanging out with my BFFs recently.
Was rather one of my best holidays ever spent :)
Everyday is a brand new day and I've spent it fruitfully.

2/9 '07's class chalet on Monday to Thursday ( 7/12/2009-10/12/2009 ).
Didn't stay throughout the entire thing as I have things to do during the afternoon.
It's literally EVERY afternoon, hell.
But, I enjoyed it as at least I didn't waste my time off. :)

Friday, my first performance with my band mates. :D
Our band name is GAGARARA! :D
Do find us in facebook and join our group yeah?
We've got Singapore's Brian McKnight, Imran! :D
Our cool guitarist, Martin! :D
Our Jazzy pretty vocalist, Emily! :D
And many more!!! ( I'm too tired to type all of their names out, check out on facebook! )
And of course, ME!
I'm a new member of the group, so I'm trying to gain experience with my band mates during performances.
Anyway, for people who went to White Tangerine Cafe to see this performance, I'm sorry about the sound system.
Hopefully, we can put up better performances as time goes by.

Yesterday, went to Ray's house to practice for today's performance.
Quite a special performance though, as Ray is playing his Viola when I'm singing.
Practiced and spent about an hour or two to memorize the lyrics of 'Love Story' by Taylor Swift.
Gosh, the lyrics are a nightmare, but when I'm able to memorize everything...
AWESOME! :D
Went home, and listened to the song till I fell asleep.

Today, woke up at 10 and was shocked by a text sent by Bro.
I feel like killing him, seriously.
But, anyway, back to topic.
Went to Ray's house and took him bag and Viola, took cab and pick him up at where he was.
Put on cosmetics at Kentucky Fried Chicken while Ray's eating.
Reported and tried out the sound system.
Waiting time was tiring, me and Ray almost fell asleep.
Performed, and was almost deafen by the speakers.
I can't hear myself, Ray too.
Bla bla bla~
Ate, and came home.

I'm just too tired to type out ANYTHING.
So, goodnight everyone!
Sorry for the lack of posting anyway, will try to make more time for blogging yeah?
Bye! :D

Boring!

Hey, Benita's back!
Okay, this isn't creating a loud bang, but, WHATEVER!
Ha!

Anyway, was quite reluctant to post, because I have completely no idea what to post.
Just recalled, went swimming with Ray at Tampines Swimming Complex yesterday.
It's been about 3 years since I went to swimming pool and about 5 years since I swam correctly.
I've forgotten everything.
Lucky to have Ray with me, or else, I'm up in heaven.
TOUCH WOOD!
However, I almost drowned due to my whatsoever swimming skills I claimed to have.
It's damn funny if anyone were to see me swimming.
What a joke!
Something happened that made us leave at 2 plus, or else, we might stay till 8.

Had lunch with him at Tampines 1's Manpuku Japanese Gourmet Town.
He snapped a photo of me eating, and he says it's cute.
=.= Thanks Ray. LOL!
Went to his house and Bro came and joined us.
Watched Power Ranger, wasn't very interested in the beginning.
Got kinda exciting near the end, but left his house without finish watching it.
Accompanied Bro for Dinner, and see him off to board a bus.
Went home and started wasting time.

Today supposed to go to Johor Bahru for Breakfast, but did not in the end.
Don't be shock, my mum and my mum's friend often enter M'sia for breakfast.
Anyway, I didn't go as my ankle hurts real badly.
I couldn't walk when I woke up, it just hurts.
Hope that after today, I'll be feel better as tomorrow's another swimming session.
I've got to train my swimming skills and enhance my Forced Vital Capacity.

Oh no, I've got nothing to say.
Never mind, shall go off now.
Goodbye everyone, what a boring post anyway.
LOL!