Bada bada baba~

I feel good, dam dadam dadam dadam dadam~
I wonder why am I so hyped up!
Anyway, TGIF!!!!

So, how did I celebrate my Friday?
Woke up at 8, bathed, tweeted, bejeweled, and off to work!
Yes, WORK! :)
I changed my job to a better environment.
I love this job better than the previous one, because it is something that I'm interested in!
Where is it at and what is it?
Not gonna tell you yet, I'll reveal when the time is right! :D

Anyway, after work, I headed to school for Dance!
Tiring, but beneficial!
I'm happy to hear some of my dance-mates saying that I've looked slimmer.
It's something that I'm glad to hear, at least efforts made have been paid off
And now, I'm home.
Rotting.
I've yet eaten my dinner, but I'm lazy to head over to pack food nor to cook.
LAZY ROCKS FOR THE MOMENT YO! :)

Blah blah blah, this post is just a pure crap.
Just to congratulate you all, TGIF! :)
BYE!

Better

Okay, I'm better, I AM BETTER! :D
I'm feeling better, and yeah, it's good to be positive :)
I hope that I'll be positive all the time, or just try my best to be positive most of the time :)

Anyway, I'm having headache now!
I have a Christmas performance coming up soon, and I need to submit a Christmas song.
DIE!
I don't celebrate Christmas, how in the world am I suppose to know the songs?!?!?!?!
OH! MY! GOD!
CAN YOU HELP ME??? :x

Maybe.

I hate to feel this way, hate it much.
I dislike ranting, and I'm sorry to rant SO MUCH on my blog.
However, I feel that I need to spit it out, or else I'll go crazy.

I've been working hard, doing what I love, enjoying what I love to do.
Due to passion, I'm able to hang on to it.
It's not like I'm very talented, I'm interested in that, just that.
I hate to say this, but I'm really angry with those people who are lucky.
Not envious, no jealousy, just pure angry.
It's my life, I don't think I have to be jealous with what people possess which I'm lack of.
I've been working hard, but nothing seems to approach me.
And those who aren't that hard working, and also, not as talented, have the world's luck on them.
How FAIR is this world huh?
What a joke.

I'm always telling myself this, they may be lucky to have gotten what they want, but eventually, the luck dies of due to their deficiency in their abilities.
I don't know why, but I feel that I need to love myself more.
Be narcissistic, that's what my new dance teacher Freddy told me.
He told me a lot when he first taught me dancing, and I got inspired.
I'm really motivated to do things that he taught me, but I got shot.
Right. At. My. Head.
Shan't elaborate more, hate to think about it.

I shall end my post, but just one question, how to love myself?
I pondered on this question for long, but I can't seem to get an answer.
If you happen to read my post and happen to 'somehow' or 'anyhow' knows the answer, please tell me.
Your help would be much appreciated...
Thanks...

Finally back.

After a long hiatus, I'm back!
Guess no one would come back to read my blog, oh well, there isn't any in fact.
Right, I am back to square.
A low self-esteem person.

Whatever, no one cares anyway.
No one.
No friends.
Sorry for the sad post, I shall stop.

Bye.

Life

Hmm, I guess I need to stop all these fanatics and get on to my work.
2 more weeks to promos, just hope that I can pass this.
Just pass the promotional exam, not sure if my overall results will pass or not, just try.
I mean, just 4 more weeks and I can do whatever I want.
Literally.

Set my targets, my boundaries and have fun with it.
So, let's see my targets.

1) Pass my promotional exam.
2) Get a part time job to earn some money for Taiwan trip at the end of the year.
3) Whitening of teeth after exam.
4) Keep myself fair, hate being tan. >.<

Some might think, I'm always not feeling too good when seeing friends are in pairs, why am I not hoping for a boyfriend.
I guess, I'm awake.
All these are fate, let fate bring me through :)
I may not be pretty, but at least, I'm not leading a flawed life.
No one is perfect, my life isn't perfect, but I'm not sad about it.
Why?
Because I've decided to look things beyond the imperfections.
As long as my conscience is clear, I know what I'm doing and am doing it right, that's good enough.

Okay, enough said.
Time for me to roll up my sleeves, time up my hair, clip up my fringe, put on my glasses, have a cup of coffee,
LET'S GET STARTED! :D

Back after 4th of October, good luck to me! :D

I wish...

I wish...

I could be richer.
I can own a DSLR camera.
I can sing and dance without any hesitation.
I can get near to BIG BANG when they come to Singapore for Korean Pop Night Concert 2010.
I can lessen my mum's burden, in this case, earning money myself and able to pay for things that OTHERS are able to pay.
I can be courageous and ask someone to leave my life. FOR.EH.VER.
I can be stronger to ask people to respect others as well.
I can have the power to ask people to NOT be apathetic.

But I know, I can't.
Life is just so. Harsh.

Awake, thinking.

*This was supposed to be posted on 27th May 2010, but I forgot why did I not post it. So, posting it now, therefore the first few sentences are a little weird. Sorry for that!

It's going to 2 and I'm widely awake.
Firstly, I have no school in the morning.
Secondly, I'm not tired for god knows what reason.
I don't know why am I thinking this way, and I'm not trying to manipulate your thinking.
I'm just sharing my thoughts to you lovelies.

My health isn't really good nowadays, basically, it's asthma the one pestering me.
I've been wheezing for days, but I tried to stagger my breathing to make me feel better.
However, it's been 3 days and it's really irritating.
It's like, even now, I'm feeling out of breath.

Life is unpredictable, and life can be vulnerable too.
I may appear to be strong at times, but you never know when am I going to collapse.
I'm afraid once I collapsed, I might never be able to stand up or even regain consciousness.
I'm not kidding or taking this as a joke, it is that serious.

Though I've been scoring zero for my love life, I'm glad to know so many awesome friends.
They are like colour pencils, they brought colours to my plain life to make it interesting.
Falling for someone, hating someone, feeling miserable for someone, I've experienced them before.
Even though my life is like a Hong Kong drama, I'm still glad that God gave me this kind of life.
I do grow from those experiences, as I'm more stubborn than other people, I needed more experiences to change it.

I'm grateful to my mum, she brought me up painstakingly.
She's my angel, she's my everything.
I wouldn't want to end my life this soon as I've not repay her with ANYTHING yet.
She's still working hard to support me, to give me allowance.
I feel that I'm a failed daughter as I always bicker with her, making her angry and always disappoint her.
Whats more, I tend to fall sick easily when I was young, she has to work doubly hard to take care of me.
When I'm lying on the bed, unwell, she wouldn't be able to sleep and keep taking care of me.
But because of my character, I don't know how to express my love to her.
I'm ashamed of myself.

I don't post these because I want sympathy, I'm posting something from the bottom of my heart.
I really feel that life is short, vulnerable and unpredictable.

Help me will you? :D

Dear readers out there, I'm sorry that I'm unable to update this little blog of mine because I'm busy with my project work....

So...

PLEASE HELP ME DO A SURVEY YEAH? IT WON'T TAKE LONG!!

Here's the link : http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/SPK9S2D

Much appreciated! :D

When everything's done, I'll be back!

I promise, and sorry!

Thanks! :)

<3<3<3

A little note to share :)

Truthfully, I’ve lost myself in music to the point where I don’t have any interest in the rest of the world. People scold me saying, “You should also be aware of what’s going on in the world,” but I pay no attention. I use an iPhone but the only application I use is to send texts to my family members. I don’t go out on my free days because I don’t want to waste my energy for no reason. I want to use up all my energy in music. "
-- T.O.P

This is somehow like me, I've lost myself in music to the point where I don't have any interest in the rest of the world.
I do go out on my free day at times, but when I'm at home, what I'll usually do is to sing and sing.
Dance and piano is my sub-passion, but most the time, I'm caught singing by people around me.

Music gives me life, it's the only thing that gives me drive to carry on with life.
Of course, MUM is also my drive that keeps me going.
Her support for me never dies, and my love for her never dies too.
I may be rebellious at times, but I still love her.
I'm just lousy in speech and emotion management, I still love her.

Sorry for drifting from my topic, Music.
However, this is just something that I wanna share.
And I apologise for not blogging recently, school's reopened and my hectic schedule just doesn't give me time.
I hope you guys wait for me yeah?
I'll come back, when everything's back on track :)

With love, Benita <3

When I was bored...

These are a few pictures taken when I'm on the cruise on 5th June.
What for? It's a secret! :D
Anyway, I did a pretty light make up but I love it a lot!
One of my best attempts!
Okay, sounds so thick-skin, but yeah, it's better to build up some confidence so that we can lead a carefree and better life, RIGHT? xD
So, here's my pictures!
Sorry for the narcissistic spam, I'm not free at this moment, so wouldn't be able to update it nowadays.
Please do wait yeah? DON'T ABANDON MY BLOG! :'(

Heehee, sorry kinda hyper because I'm having headache.
LOL! Ironic!
Okay sorry! Cut the crap and here's the pictures! :)


ㅋㅋㅋ! I'm kissing the air!
Sorry for that weird face! 푸 하 하 하 하 하 하 !

I love my teeth here, it looks white and straight! No photoshop yeah! I'm not really good at it :D
Wuuuu! (T_T) GOTCHA! ^^
Here's my favourite take, I love everything here, including my mum's leg at the back! ㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎ!
Last picture here! My real lashes alright! :)
Sorry for the bad quality, my lashes aren't that little! :x
All right, got to go now!
You may laugh at it, love it, hate it, disgusted by it, WHATEVER! *sounds so RinOnTheRox*
Ha ha ha ha ha! BYE BYE! <3

I do believe in fairytale.

Dalang and Baozhu have been together for 3 years, they are as sweet as ever.
Though both families object this relationship, they overcome all obstacles and got together this far.
They believe that they are the one for each other, but they didn't say it.
Every anniversary, Baozhu's birthday, Dalang will always call and wish her through the phone when the clock strikes 12.
Dalang always plan unforgettable events for Baozhu whenever a special day reached.
He remembers the first time when they take a bus together.
First time doing project together.
First time holding hands.
First time protecting her and ended up got hurt.
First time hugging each other.
First time... Kissing. :)
So sweet of him, a perfect guy for Baozhu.

It seems like Baozhu hasn't been doing anything for Dalang, but in fact not.
She concerns about Dalang's health, helping him with chores when he falls sick.
When Dalang's in doubt, she'll do whatever she can to help.
Though she might be fierce and always hit him, she loves and cares for him most.
No one loves Dalang as deep as her.

Everything seems to calm and peaceful for this couple until something strikes.
Baozhu's mum forced Baozhu to go for a matchmaking session.
She wouldn't obey of course, she ran away from home.
She went to meet Dalang, and asked him to promise her that they will be together for a lifetime.
She's pending for an answer from him, looking at him, hoping to catch a glimpse of hope, but he looked down to the ground instead.
Not a word from him, not even an eye contact.
He seemed to have something in his mind.
She's disappointed from this reaction, she thought this would be the end of their relationship.
However, she smiled and acted as if nothing had happened.
They walked down the road, and had their sweet talk.

A week's passed, they met at the place where they first kissed.
Dalang knelt down to the ground, Baozhu was startled.
He took out a ring and asked her to marry him.
She asked why didn't he have any reaction when she asked him to be with her forever, and he answered, action speak louder than words.
He can promise her with words, but that doesn't mean anything.
He thinks an action is good enough to say yes, and he really wants to be with her, forever.
She's touched, and agreed to it.

This is so fairytale-like, isn't it?
Though I never believed in Santa Claus, but I love the story of Cinderella a lot.
It may be fictitious, but I always believe that there will be a Mr. Right waiting.
I believe if I work hard for what I want, I will eventually get it.
I believe.
I do believe.
I still believe.

At the age of 17, my love life is plain white.
Going out with boyfriend, yes.
Holding hands with boyfriend, no.
Needless to say for the rest of the list.
I do get into a relationship, once.
He's my first and last, till now.
We fell in love with each other for more than 2 years, less than 3.
Though it's a short period of time that we got together, I did enjoyed the moments we get together.
The memories seems so fine.
Ask me why we broke up? I have no idea what's wrong with me too.
I do get regret at times, but I guess this is the best way for us.
At least, we are good friends.

Now, I'm still pending, waiting for the right one to come.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to change, to improve, to be better, for myself and for him.
As for my crush, I'm not going to cling on him, I'll just stay by his side, helping him when he needs help in homework.
If he misses class, I'll help him take note with things going on in class.
Just this, it's enough.
I don't want people to say that I'm a cheap person, who clings onto a person who doesn't like me, be his maid or dog.
I'm just doing something that a friend normally does. :)
Despite all hardships, if nothing comes in the end, I don't regret.
At least, I've worked hard for it, once.
Right?

I do believe in fairytale, still.

TATTOO!

I've decided to do something absurd, simply because, I'm underage.
I shouldn't be posting this content, but I think I need to share this knowledge and my opinion to you guys.
So, people who are uninterested in my topic, I won't stop you from leaving. :)
The 'axe' is just at the top right hand corner of the browser, if you only have one tab in your browser.
Otherwise, just close your tab that is regarding my blog. :D
Much appreciated.

Yes, I'm only 17 this year, and I'm only legal to talk about it or even do it next year.
However, due to lack of topic, I've decided to touch on it.
Hope that you guys don't mind, but if some legal actions are going to take on me, I'm really speechless.

All right, back to the topic.
This is a piece of information I found on wikipedia, though it might not be 100% true as it can be moderated by anyone, but let's take a look:

A tattoo is a marking made by inserting dark, indelible ink into the dermis layer of the skin to change the pigment for decorative or other reasons. Tattoos on humans are a type of decorative body modification, while tattoos on animals are most commonly used for identification or branding. The term "tattoo" or from Tahiti, "Tatau" is first referenced by Joseph Banks, the naturalist aboard Cook's ship the "Endeavour" in 1769 where he mentions it in his journal. To paraphrase. he states, "I shall now mention the way they mark themselves indelibly, each of them is so marked by their humor or disposition".

Tattooing has been practiced for centuries worldwide. The Ainu, the indigenous people of Japan, traditionally wore facial tattoos. Today one can find Berbers of Tamazgha (North Africa), Māori of New Zealand, Arabic people in East-Turkey and Atayal of Taiwan with facial tattoos. Tattooing was widespread among Polynesian peoples and among certain tribal groups in the Taiwan, Philippines, Borneo, Mentawai Islands, Africa, North America, South America, Mesoamerica, Europe, Japan, Cambodia, New Zealand and Micronesia. Despite some taboos surrounding tattooing, the art continues to be popular in many parts of the world.

How true is it, I don't know, but one thing to note, a person with tattoo doesn't mean that person is a hooligan.
I've thought of having a tattoo or 2 when I'm 18, and almost everyone opposed me.
They claimed that having tattoo isn't good as it gives bad image, but it's just a taboo.
I've seen people making a big hoo-ha when they saw others having tattoo.
Set aside those with excessive amount of tattoos on their bodies, because this isn't acceptable to me, but what about those people with only 2 or 3?
I think it's just for beautifying, you might think I'm weird because I've been wanting to have tattoo since at the age of 8, but I think it isn't wrong.
As long as you uphold your integrity, you are living to your conscience, it's all right.
I really think so.
Just like this:

It's a photo taken last year, when I performed for YouthBox Star! Singing competition last year.
That's airbrush by the way and sorry for my expression, I'm just too engrossed into singing.
Okay, jokes aside.
See, do I look like a hooligan?
And that's the kind of tattoo I wanna get, not dragon, not phoenix, and definitely not doraemon. (L.O.L! )
It's just a body art, at least that's what I think.
I'm sorry to 'disappoint' you guys, but I really don't think having tattoo means bad.
I'm still thinking though, thinking what if I regret after doing?
What if when I grow old, my skin sags and the tattoo looks screwed?
A lot of questions in my head and I hope to get an answer before I really regret.
Hmm, see how it goes.

ANYWAY, my motive of talking about tattoo, is not wanting to discuss about whether to get a tattoo, what pattern do I want it to be.
However, I just hope that everyone can jump out from their conservative mindset.
It's the 21st century, we should be open-minded for somethings right?
We shouldn't misjudge a person due to their appearance, it hurts, really. :)
All right, got to go!
Goodbye!

Side note: This is another scheduled post :)
I'm recuperating from the exhaustion for MYE :D

Is it really me, or is it you?

I do have quite a lot of 'untouchable' points about me.
Sounds so arrogant and apathetic, but this is just me.
I live by principles with some exceptions, but this 'untouchable' is definitely
UNTOUCHABLE!

Bet you guys are tired of hearing me nagging, complaining, whining or WHATEVER in blog, however, this is sorta my way of venting out.
I bet many bloggers are like that too, right?
Hmm, let's go back to the topic, my 'untouchable'.

I dislike being framed, maligned, being a scapegoat.
I believe NO ONE likes it, however, I guess this is human nature that at times, people tends to see others faults first.
Human, homo-sepian, we tend to lose our rationality when we get angry.
Please don't tell me you are a rational thinker, you are self-deceiving. :)
Wake up, my dear.

So, back to what I want to say, we, tend to push the blame to others when something went wrong.
Sad to say, I often get maligned for things that I did not even do.
I do feel that it's ridiculous and get angry, but what can I do?
Basically, there's nothing I can do, NOTHING.
Fight for my innocence might lead to more misunderstandings, thinking that I'm just trying to justify and to cover my faults.

People, we are human, we are not perfect and we can NEVER be perfect.
We can only strive and improve to be better, and that's the ONLY we can do.
We do have blind spots and we have to accept it.
A question to note, why do we tend to magnify a person's blind spot?
This is our blind spot, however I believe we can take this off from our list. :)

I shall end abruptly, it's your own way of how to remove it.
WORK HARD! I'm working hard too! :D
//: Anyway, this is a scheduled post, I'm still working hard for MYE! :D
Fight on, strive on, go on! WOOHOO! :D

Side note: When anyone pushes the blame to you, think this in your heart 'Is it really me, or is it you?'
Reflect upon your actions and think of what he/she did.
Talk it out, achieve a balance.
World Peace! :D
Okay, last line is kinda bull shit, but it's workable :D

Turn Back Time

People who know me should know that I'm a person who doesn't regret after doing something that easily.
I always know the fact that as I am the decision maker for myself, I can't do anything to change it when something goes wrong.
It's like, I know that I can't turn back the time, what I can do now is to go on with it, or totally discard it.
However, I don't usually discard as I think that it's an action of an irresponsible person.
Hmm, so, this is how I am like.

But now, since I'm given a dagger which can turn back time, why not trying to change one.
I've been holding it, thinking for a very long time, and I've been digging out all my buried memories, trying to find out what regrets me most.
It's not surprising to me though, but maybe for some of you, it's during Campus Superstar 2009 period.
Some of you might not know, it's a Chinese Singing Competition held by Mediacorp in Singapore and yes, I'm one of the finalists.
I don't really want to say it out, but I do regret.
Not regret joining the competition, the competition made me grow up, not in height of course, but the way I see things, however, I regretted not think deep before I say anything.
I used to give that tone that people always think I'm very proud or arrogant.
I seldom smile too, that made it worse.
I do have supporters, but it's as many as my haters.
They always comment me as an arrogant person, but they just don't know me.
I just don't smile, it doesn't mean anything.
But as you know, when you are on television, you are 'facing' the viewers.

Do you like this smile? I think I look good when smiling :)

I'm thinking, if I smile more, talk less, maybe I'll be more well-like by people.
If I have more personality but at the same time, I don't sound stuck up, I'll garner more attention and more love.
When I learn the art of speaking, it's already the end of the competition.
I don't blame this experience for making me grow, in fact, I'm thankful.
However, I just hate the fact that I've left bad impression to people whom they think that I'm pure arrogant and stuck up, I'm just inexperienced in dealing with crowds and I don't know how to talk.
Not that I'm dumb, I'm not taught how to talk in a nice way.
Now that I know how to, not really that good but at least better, I hope that I can turn back to that time, at least to change a little of that situation.
I might still get disqualified, but at least, I think I've done better in talking. :)
That's just what I think.

Hmm, but like as if I really have a dagger to turn back time just like the ancient dagger that is capable of releasing Sands of Time in 'PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME'!
Oh hell, I'm dreaming, but I really hope that this will happen! :D
All right, talking about the movie, Prince of Persia, let's have a little sneak peek! :D



Interesting? :D
I AM! :D:D:D
Anyway, it's directed by 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' 's director Mike Newell!
TOTALLY ANTICIPATING IT! :D

If interested, Catch Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Movie starting from 27^th May 2010 and join the official Facebook and Twitter page!
Please tell me how you feel after watching it on my formspring if you want, I'm interested to know! :D
I'm definitely going to watch as I've anticipated it for more than 2 months ever since I saw the trailer with my friend!
Sooooooo, do wait for my movie review yeah?
HAVE A NICE DAY, and for me, ENJOY STUDYING! (NOT! >.<)

Something to share.

Decided to write up this post, before going on a 2 weeks hiatus for my MYE.
It's been with me for a long time and I think I should really share.

Ever have friends who LOVE tying knots with people who you don't like?
Don't like as in, no mutual feeling, just friend-friend relationship.
I've seen lots and I sometimes do have things like that happening on me.
Sad to say, but I HATE this kind of things.
I find it ridiculous, VERY ridiculous.
I'm sorry to hurt you guys, but, this action is rather irritating.
I have feelings too, I'm crushing on a guy now and I think it'll be long.
I know you guys love to play or just for entertainment, or maybe, you guys wish me well, so they hope that I can have someone who can care for.
However, we can't force all these, right?
It's like marrying a guy who you don't know, only seen once before marrying, this kind of feeling is awkward and absurd.

Friends who really know me should know, I really hate this.
I do get angry at times because I'll get irritated.
Sometimes, I do laugh.
It's not because I am not disliking it, just that I don't wanna pick up a fight or start quarreling.
It's not worth it, you know, right?
However, to avoid things like this happening in the future, I've decided to post it up.
Firstly to let you guys, my lovely readers to know me more.
Secondly, friends, please stop doing it yeah?
We can joke with other things, but not this yeah?
I have this ego in me which I can't simply let go, forgive me and understand me yeah?
Love you :)

Side note:
I did mention I have a crush now, right?
I've somehow confessed to him, but we are still friends.
This is life, and I'm admitting defeat to it.
It's always relationships making me lack of courage.
Blah blah blah, WHATEVER!
I'm still happy, because WE are good friends! :D
Anyway, I'll update my previous post with more pictures when my MYE ended.
Sorry, but study is my priority :)
GOODNIGHT, BYE BYE! :D

Virgin trip on Virgo! :D

As you all know, my birthday celebrations are spread over a week!
And this time round, I brought my celebration to Indian Ocean ( I guess? :x )
It's from 2 April 2010 to 4 April 2010 and let's see my awesome ride! :D

First day, woke up early to finalise my packing with Mum and off we go to Harbourfront Cruise Center!
Waiting for my mum's friend to come and here come's cam-whoring!
Hmm, maybe not, I'm not a fan of my looks! Hahaha!
Me and my mum! Some say I look like her and some don't.
Hmm, in my opinion, except my eyes and my nose, I do look like her :D
Mum pulling luggage, sorry for the poor quality, I wonder what happened to my camera.
My camera failed to show my mum's long and nicely shaped legs :(
Look at the sky, it's nice right? :D
However, the construction spoiled everything. :( :( :(
Anyway, let's move on.
I'm suppose to enjoy the trip, and hell yes, I DID! :D
So, we proceeded to the counter and got our room card.
And you know, when we walk to our door, we took out the card and slot in.

ALRIGHT, cut the crap! Let's see my room! :D

I see TV! I see TV! Though there are no Singapore's channel, but I'm fond of it because there's Hong Kong Channel! :D Kinda good right?
Bed and the extra-ed luggage ;) It's kinda luxurious, for a cruise :D
Bathroom, hmm, seems good... And let's see...
Hmm, it's good! The shower area isn't too small, though it's small.
All right, I'm contradicting myself.
It's just nice for me and my mum.
Sad to say that we can't sleep in a balcony room as my mum's a new member, but we're glad to have such a good quality staying - sleeping area! :D

I'm eager to show the place, it's gorgeous, in my opinion.
Though my camera does no justice to this place, but readers!
You can use your powerful imagining skills right? :D

A view taken from the lift :)
From the counter area :)
Sea view from the Cruise :)
1 Narcissistic pic from yours truly :D

Oh oh oh! I'm late for something, sorry!
I shall edit the post when I'm back! SO SORRY!
Bye! :D

100th post = HAPPY POST! :D

Oh yeah, this is my 100th blog post and just nice, I'm blogging about my Birthday :)
So, let's start this draggy elaboration!
Don't anticipate, you might sleep :x

P.s, this is my first birthday celebration in my 17 years of life...

28 March 2010, my first celebration of the week :)
Me, Jiaqi, Alton, Mingyan Dongsaeng, Ray ( Dongsaeng's friend ), Xingyu, Joeyjie, Rachael B and Benjamin Bro went to sentosa for a celebration.
B and Bro came late, so the rest of us went to have Luge and Skyride! :D
Jiaqi was screaming on the Skyride as she has Acrophobia, poor thing.
However, we are all alive!
Safe huh?
DUH! XP

Proceed to the beach for some cooling down session and guess what?
No, you don't to guess as Singapore is FREAKING HOT!
We are burning and melting instead of cooling down.
We expected some eye candies at the beach playing volleyball, but the heat distracted us.
TOTALLY!
Didn't take many pictures with my camera, the heat made me couldn't think rationally...
And, the storm came~
Oh well, everything turned out fine, so no point dwelling on it. :)

Here's some pictures! :D

Me and Dongsaeng at the beach, it's windy for a moment but just when we are leaving, the sun came out again.
That's the reason for my messy hair :x

Ray and Dongsaeng :)
On the Skyride :P
Dongsaeng and Ray again :P
Lastly, my photo to end the 28 March Session :D
Oh, and part of Alton :) That's the skinny arm of his!
I want! LOL!

Let's move on :) 1st April 2010, THE ACTUAL DAY!
I rushed from school to the venue, Hougang Community Center.
Before rushing to the venue, I went to Heartland Mall to collect my 1.5 kg Hazelnut Cake.
I didn't eat though, I ate the strawberry :D
Anyway, back to topic. :)

It started at 6.30, and more and more people came in.
If I'm not wrong, 40 over people came and made the place real crowded.
THANKS FOR EVERYONE WHO CAME! :D
Didn't take many pictures as usual, was too busy entertaining people.
But, I feel good, REALLY :D

Will update with all the pictures when I'm back, have to go off now.
Bye People! :)

//: UPDATED ON 14 MAY 2010
I KNOW IT'S VERY VERY VERY LATE, I'M SO SORRY! :/
Anyway, here's the pictures! :D

I look pretty shag, try rushing to this after school, it's no joke! :OHanrey, my friend. It's just angle problem, we are normal friends.
I have crush and my baby, remember? XD

Me and my 1.5 KG customised Birthday Cake! :D Hazelnut, yum yum!With my 2 cute little cousins! I love them the most, which means I'm very strict towards them as well.
Well, I wish them well, and they always know :D
With Bestmate! She's pretty right? Too bad, she's taken for going 2 years! :D
Love her!

I have much more photos, but it's not with me.
They are mostly taken using my friends' cameras and they have no intention to send me.
Laughs, in fact, I can't even remember asking from them!
Hee hee hee! XP
Please anticipate my next blog post, I'm gonna post about my virgin trip to Superstar Virgo!
Bang bang!
Ha ha ha! :D
Annyeong! Bye bye! :D

Sorry for the emotional post yesterday, was feeling real down and lost.
However, I'm fine now. :)
Why? Because 1st of April is reaching!
Oh my GAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
Ha ha ha! I'm sparkling! *bling!

Oh well, anyway, I'm going to have my celebration first up on this coming Sunday!
If you guys read my twitter, it's obvious where I wanna go.
Ben Bro was like, the whole world knows where are we going at what time.
LOL! Come on! I'm a commoner alright?
Ha ha ha ha!!!! :D

Oh oh oh! Anyway, I'm having another round of celebration on the day itself.
I'm going to invite my friends and relatives, and it'll be a K-session as my mum booked a K-hall! :D
So, please stay by your facebook/phone/msn, I'll get to you soon! :D

ANYWAY! Let's get back to subject.
My birthday wishes, or to be direct, what I want for as birthday present! :D
1: Studio, Beats by Dr. Dre headphone, customised colour which cost US$500!
2: Nikon D90 kit which cost S$1888 for Challenger member, S$1999 for prices island-wide.
3: Lie Detector can be found on eBay which cost S$168
4: SHOW LUO's CONCERT, Cat 1 ticket which cost $178
Blah blah blah~ I'm just so greedy!
Oh well, you may not need to buy one of it ALL BY YOURSELF.
You can find 9 more people and split cost among 10 :)
Ha ha! I'm just kidding people!
I'm working towards it still! :D

Ah, gosh! I need to do my homework already, bye people!
Have a nice day ahead! :)

L for Love?

Hey everyone, sorry for the hiatus.
I didn't leave it unattended on purpose, I'm just too busy for everything.
I feel kinda shitty as I can't seem to accomplish anything.
Yeah, I meant EVERYTHING, literally.
Oh well, see how it goes...

Let's not track back my schedule, you guys might sleep.
You guys know how MUCH I can type in a post, right? :D
So, just a little food for thought.
Watched 'L for Love, L for Lies' yesterday on Channel 8.
For your information, it's a movie starrring Alex Fong and Stephy Tang.
I've watched it like, 3 times? But the same feeling comes back to me all the time.

There's this part, when Leila Tong confesses to her boyfriend about her speeches.
" I often kick up a big fuss, that's because I want you to understand me and care about me.
When I said that I don't want to, it actually means that I want to.
When I said that I don't feel like it, it actually means that I feel like it.
When I said that I wanna go on diet, I'm actually waiting for you to say ' It's okay, you're not fat, I love the way you are and that's enough '... "

My heart wrenched when I heard this, period.
It's always the case, isn't it?
I often say that I'm ugly, I'm fat, I wanna go on a diet, I wanna go for plastic surgery, but anyone knows the reason behind it?
When I say these, everyone will say, 'Crazy!'.
I just wanna hear things like, you are pretty enough, you are skinny enough... etc
Just these, is it very difficult?
Or maybe, it's just things that people don't feel right to say because I ain't pretty and skinny in reality.
Yeah, true enough, I'm not skinny as I have muscles, or I should say, developed muscles.
I have a huge build, but is that what I want?
I can't be any lighter anymore, I have no choice but to enhance on my body contour.
I don't want to get compared with people about my looks, it hurts my pride.
I know I should face the fact, but I can't as it is indirectly hurting my mum too.
She uses almost half of her lifetime nurturing me, spent 8 months plus to protect me in her womb and gave me nutrients, and painstakingly gave birth to me.
She doesn't want to see me looking down upon myself.
I don't want myself to have low self esteem either, but I just can't seem to level it up.

It seems like I'm kicking a big fuss over things that can't be changed in a split second.
However, yeah, I'm just like that.
I hate the fact that no one is actually knowing how I feel.
I hate the fact that only mum is giving me all the love that made me feel real guilty about it because I know that I am unable to repay her back.
I hate the fact that I cannot lighten my mum's burden for our life expenses.
That's the reason why I have so many outside commitments, I want to have a nice portfolio, to earn money.
I want to lighten my mum's burden.
Teachers reading this, do you now understand why can't I hand in my work on time?
Do you now understand why can't I seem to devote my time into schoolwork and CCA?
I can't let my mum carry everything, it's too heavy and tiring for her.
That's why I want to find work, I want to lessen my mum's burden.

Can you understand, my dear teachers?
Oh well, I doubt my teachers read this..
Yeah, whatever man.
No one can help me when I don't wanna help myself.
Blah blah blah, bye people.

Unadaptable.

I'm procrastinating, again.
I've no wish in going school tomorrow, again.
I'm not doing homework, again.
I'm stressed up, again.

Darn, I can't really adapt Junior College's life now.
I'm thinking of other stuffs, other directions.
I know I shouldn't do this, but I just can't concentrate.

H2 Physics is a hell to me, because I have no pure Physics background.
I have to put in extra effort to catch up with the terms and stuffs.
I feel so stupid, as almost all of my classmates took pure sciences back in Secondary School.
:(

H2 Mathematics, kinda alright now.
However, I know it's not gonna be easy always.
How am I going to face it?
:'(

H2 Mother Tongue Language and Literature.
Despite me loving Chinese Literature, it's gonna be hard for me as I have limited background of Chinese Literature.
What's more, it's tested on the texts that we are going to learn.
Afraid much.
:"(

H1 China Studies in Chinese, I'm not a Chinese, I have no basic knowledge about China.
What I know about China is what I've learned in Secondary School's Social Studies.
Great, I have the least knowledge in class again.
TT

General Paper, go eat shit.
Seriously, I have no idea how will I fare for this.
Not to think of A levels but promotion examination.
Oh my god, this stressful feeling isn't what I expected, to come so fast and sudden.

Damn it, headache is back.
Don't think about it, BENITA! :'(
Not saying it now, bye. :(

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

Yeah, I know that I'm kinda slow as today's the 3rd.
However, it's better late than never! :D
SO....
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

Lessons started for a week, gotten our permanent timetable last Thursday.
Was having temporary timetable for that week, and I have a lot of free periods.
Why? I'm gonna explain now. :)
My class is of the combination of H2 Math, Physics and Chem, H1 Geog.
However, I'm taking H2 Math, Physics and Mother Tongue Language and Literature, H1 China Studies in Chinese.
I'm in a science class by the way, just that I'm a hybrid. :D
Yeah, so, my MTLL class is always in the late afternoon and I don't take Chem and H1 Mother tongue, so, FREE PERIODS! :D
If you're going to ask why am I not taking H2 Chem, then I'd say, I took combined Science in Secondary school, there's no way for me to take 2 H2 Sciences.
What's more, I'd like to continue studying Chinese.
So, yeah! :D
Mother Tongue rocks! In My Opinion though :P

Oh yeah, I'm in Dance! MY CCA IS DANCE!!!
AWESOME RIGHT?! I PASSED THROUGH THE AUDITION!
SO, I DON'T DANCE DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE NO POTENTIAL IN DANCING! :D
So happy!!!
Dance dance dance! Oh yeah~ Oh yeah~ Oh yeah yeah yeah~
Ha ha! Crazy much! :D

Okay, back to Chinese New Year...
Red packets received subsequently lesser this year, but I heck care much.
It's rare to meet up with relatives often and this is always the opportunity to catch up with them.
I feel more love every year, and it's awesome :D
I hope that it'll always stay and bless me :)

Sorry for not updating this blog with picture, I'm really very lazy to upload pictures.
Will try to do so when I have time.
I promise, I promise!!!
SORRY!
And, BYE!
Happy new year! :D

School's orientation.

Had my school orientation on Thursday and Friday, thus not being able to update my blog.
It's tiring, more tiring that studying, as stated on my plurk and twitter.
Oh well, I like my school. :)
It might not be the most prestigious Junior College, but at least, the people there are down to Earth and they are awesome. :)
So yeah, I'm kinda happy over there.

Our school's orientation is stretched to a 7 days period, and it's tiring for the 1st 2 days.
We have to sit in the hall for 2 hours and LISTEN.
Yeah, LISTEN.
I feel like sleeping.
I just can't wait for school to start officially, so that I can start studying.
I dread of wasting time at home and outside, not doing things that aren't really beneficial for me.

Anyway, I finally danced, like after 6 years.
After orientation in school, I went for trial lesson in my school's dance club.
Ballet, it's like an oh so long history.
Having aches now, like serious aches as I went to Airport on Friday too.
Chased all the way to hotel too.
This is the first time I've done it and I am never going to do it again unless Big Bang, Brown Eyed Girls, 2NE1, Oneday or some more people whom I like real loads visits Singapore, then I'll do it.
So, yeah. End of chasing story.
LOL!

Going off now, gotta catch some breather before I faint.
Haven't been feeling real well these few days. :x
Bye!

FINALLY!

Tomorrow's the first day of school!
I mean, tomorrow's the orientation day.
I'm kinda looking forward to it, yet kinda reluctant of going.
I have yet to adjust my sleeping time, I'm afraid that I can't wake up on time.
7.30 am to report, this is crazy.
I mean, LITERALLY CRAZY.

Anyway, I've entered Serangoon Junior College.
Feel shock? But I'm fine with it.
I like this school though, and many of my classmates are going to this school.
Unbelievable but yeah, blah blah blah...
I'm so tired, but I won't sleep now.
I'll wait till later, when I'm much sleepy, then I'll be able to fall asleep fast and able to wake up on time. :)
Therefore, bye! :D

Emotional Post...? NOT!

I deleted a folder of pictures, containing me and a person, 2 months ago.
I don't know who this person is, he seems ugly to me.
I have no idea why I have so much of his pictures with me, but yeah.
I have them, just like that.
I kept them in my recycle bin though, as I heard some stories, and I feel that I wanna retrieve those buried memories.
However, I accidentally emptied the recycle bin and the pictures were gone.
I thought that I would feel sad, but I am relieved, in fact, happy. :)
This might be God's will, to let this Pandora box remain unopened for the rest of the life.

Oh well, the end.
I don't know you either, what do you expect me to blog about this person who doesn't even exist in my life.
Lame, I know.
But I wonder why I have this thoughts and I have to spit it out.
It's contaminating my mind. :x
Bye people!
Bye whatever :D

SHOPPING! :D

HEYO HEYO HEYO!!!
I wish everyone a happy shopping day!
LOL!
Alright, no such thing but I enjoyed my shopping trip yesterday, TOTALLY! :D
With Dearest Amanda WEEWEEWEE!!! :D
Love calling her surname when I am playing slide!
Hahahah! Just kidding!
I love you girl, alright? :D:D:D

Spent around $120 yesterday and my legs were aching as we walked real long.
Shall start from the beginning. :)
Met her at 1330, was slightly later as I have some preparations to do.
I miss her real loads, she slimmed down, me too.
LOL! So thick skin, but it's the truth. :x
Boarded the train and headed over to Orchard.
Updated with each other about our recent activities.
I envy her for being able to work, I didn't really get to work in this holiday.
I totally hate those employers when they say they don't hire people with no working experience.
I mean, excuse me, no one is willing to give me the chance to earn experience, like I will have working experience popping out from nowhere.

Anyway, continue continue! :)
Alighted at Orchard, headed over to Wisma Atria and bought a dress.
Cheap though, $17.45 :D
Weird pricing right? There's reason for it, but I'm lazy to type.
So, yeah, continue. HEEHEE! :D
Headed to Ngee Ann City, and ate Japanese food.
We have common likings, CHICKEN SKIN!
I know I've quit such stuff for a very long time, but I ate it yesterday.
Feel damn contented though :p
Took picture with my Fujifilm Instax Mini, I gave one film to Manda. :)
Continued walking and roaming, Zara's having sales but all in Medium or Large.
I can fit NONE! NONE! NONE!!!
Gosh, don't like it! :x

Head over to Far East Shopping Centre (FESC), bought loads of stuff. :D:D:D
1 Jacket and 2 leggings for $39.90. :)
Cheap right? Anyway, they are in special designs! :D:D
Couldn't find heels that I like and it's comfortable at FESC, and Manda found one but don't have her size.
So, headed over to Suntec City.
Entered Rubi and bought the heels that I like.
$49.95, but I think it's worth it. :)
Gorgeously designed and comfortable. :)
Bought Tea Leaf Eggs and eat.
LOL! We have so many common interest and favourites. :)

Took bus 36 to Changi Airport for a late dinner.
Wanted to eat at Popeye, but there were too many people.
So, ended up in McDonald's.
Chatted and stuff. Love yesterday! <3
Cam-whore-d in the toilet, pictures all not in hand yet.
Will find one time to grab them from facebook! :D:D
Parted and headed home.
Meet up soon alright? :D
LOVE YOU! :D:D

Reached home and wasting time in process.
Ha ha ha!
Hmm, that's all, I guess(?)
Heehee! :)
Oh, I did mention in my previous post about the emotional post gonna be posted up soon right?
I totally forgotten about it!
Sorry! Will write that post soon, I promise.
But not today, I'm having headache but I don't wanna sleep.
Don't want! Don't want! Don't want!!! :D:D
Going off now!!!! Bye!

P.S, 2AM's new songs are awesome, especially 'To Her'.
Love the rap especially! Hahaha!
Jagiya knows why! :D:D *blush

P.S.S, my Instant Camera is AWESOME! I want you to be jealous!
Hahaha! :P BYE!

Busy busy!

Hey there!
Sorry for not updating regularly, I wonder if anyone reads my blog anyway...
Anyway! I was busy these few days!
Ben Bro's Birthday Party, Swimming with MeiEn Lovelove, M'sia trip and stuff!
Oh well, I don't think I would want to blog EVERY DETAILS out as I find it boring, you might too right? :D
I'll do an overall summary :)

Ben Bro's Birthday Party overall was kinda okay, just that I dislike it for some reason.
Pardon me, if I can take it, I would.
However, I'm born to not able to take it.
Sorry if I threw much tantrum there because my lungs aren't good and I easily get headache because of that.
Of course, there are much things happened and nothing can be said.
I'd just wanna say, it's better to talk it out.

Swimming with MeiEn Lovelove = AWESOME! :D
It's been a long time I last met her, we both changed in terms of talking and mentality.
However, we can recognise each other as we didn't change much in physical appearance.
Swam for 1 and a 1/2 hour, and I didn't swim 5 laps!
This is crazy, but yeah, I have to overcome something in my heart first.
Went for lunch after swimming at Tampines Mall's Swensen's, and it wasn't awesome at all.
The food sucks, standard can no longer be found.
Hate it, but other branches are still alright.
So, just don't patronise TM's Swensen's if you don't wanna waste money. :)

I forgot what I did on Saturday, so just leave it. :)
Sunday, went to Malaysia.
It was an eating trip, literally.
I'm afraid of eating meat now, so afraid.
Yucks!
Blah blah blah, didn't do much of course, as it was an EATING TRIP! >.<

Yesterday, was supposed to meet Stephanie for Ice Cream but didn't go in the end.
I watched 'I Am Sam' till 3 in the morning and have to wake up at 10 to start preparing, I can't manage to stay awake so I turned it down.
Sorry Jagiya, we'll have it today! :D:D
AWESOME! :D
So, I was surfing net and wasting time at home, AGAIN!

Today, am going to get prepared for Ice Cream with JAGIYA! :D
So, I better get going :D
See you people!

Tonight will have a damn harsh and kinda emotional post coming up.
For a person who's always sensitive about what I'm saying, it's not you definitely :)
It's someone you know and you know what haopen. :)

P.S, my Polaroid Camera is coming!
CAN'T WAIT! :D

Hate it.

I hate it, hate it real much.
I should really bring an oxygen tank EVERYWHERE I go.
Ass.
So irritating that people just smoke in a closed area.
Hello, please be considerate.
Like as if everyone likes the disgusting smell of nicotine and tobacco.
I'm having serious headache, I feel that my brain is lack of clean oxygen.
It's so polluted.

Argh, whatever.
Bye.

P.S, I'm going to change my blogskin soon.
Trying to find time to take nice pictures. :)
And, I wanna buy a Polaroid Camera. :D

Finally back.

I'm finally back here, blogging.
Got back my results, and I'm not really happy about it.
I merely got 4 distinctions, and that's really below my expectations.
However, I have to walk on with it.
This will be a lesson for me, never take one's intelligence for granted.
Everything comes with hard work, just like singing and piano.
So, I'm going to do homework when my school starts.

Oh, what bull shit.
I haven't even decide which Junior College I wanna go.
Hell retarded.
My aggregate isn't that great as I couldn't enter ANY of the Junior Colleges that I wanted.
To be truthful, that's really bad.
I don't wanna go poly, because I don't really start a career THIS early.
There's too many things I want that and it's difficult for me to decide now.
However, I kinda know my direction.
It's time for me to plan. :)

No matter what school am I going to enter, it'll be a brand new start.
As long as I have the flame of determination, I'll be able to succeed. :)
I'm going to work extra hard to brush up my English!
Ray! Teach me how to speak good English and enunciate the words!!! :D:D:D
Hmm, I wonder will he see it, but blah blah blah.
WHATEVER! :D

Anyway, just came back from Marina Barrage.
Star gazing is awesome!!
But, the 'story' of stars are kinda scary, but interesting. :)
I feel like studying Astronomy.
Blah! Stop these nonsense BENITA!
There are too many things that I wanna learn, I wouldn't have time.
Whatever!

I'm going off now, it's getting late.
Goodnight people! :D

End

I think I shall stop blogging for the time being.
I need time to think.
I need time to learn.
I need time to work.
I need time to grow.

I will be back, but I'm not sure when will it be.
However, I will be back for sure.
Hopefully when I'm back, I'll bring back good news. :)
Ditto. :)